The Vulnerability of Men

That’s the name of a post on circumcision, written from a man’s perspective as to why circumcised men want their sons to be circumcised. If the father of your baby is circumcised, he will probably want your son to be circumcised. Why?

Men who have been circumcised have an extremely difficult dilemma. For them to acknowledge that the practice is unnecessary and harmful means that they must acknowledge a painful personal reality.

You really need to read the whole article (preferably, before you bring the topic up the first time, so that you can bring it up in the way most likely to bring positive results). But this totally makes sense. As I was reading this article, I was nodding my head in agreement at the whole thing, because it reminded me of “the talk” my husband and I had — or rather, “the talks” because we discussed it more than once, just as in this article.  Men don’t want to have it thrown in their faces that there’s something “wrong” with their penises; and for a woman to want her sons to remain intact implies (to the men, whether women mean it this way or not) that there is something wrong with being circumcised. Therefore, for cut men to accept that, it requires them to accept that there is something wrong with them. Ouch. Far easier to retreat into the various fallacies and myths surrounding circumcision, rather than accept that they were subjected to a painful and unnecessary procedure when they couldn’t consent. And, after all, since most men don’t remember it, they assuage any qualms about it by saying that their sons won’t remember it either, and will get all the “benefits” of circumcision, like “looking like his dad!”

Women and men are different in so many ways. Is it sexist to say that? Perhaps; but it’s also accurate. We women need to learn how to communicate in our female way, in such a way that we can reach our men. Want to learn how to do it? Read the rest of the article. 🙂


3 Responses

  1. I do not have a son, so I never was confronted with the circumcision question. I first learned about circumcision when I was researching my prostate problems. The more I learned about circumcision, the more agast I became at the harm that we inflict on our children through infant circumcision. The final straw was the Sex As Nature Intended It website, which described how a circumcised man contributes to sexual problems with women. I immediately decided to restore my foreskin after seeing that site.

    I think if men are informed about how their circumcision status is less than beneficial for their partners, they may be more receptive to the circumcision question. We men like sex. We like it better if we have an eager partner. 🙂 I think a good approach is to not focus on the harm done to the man by being circumcised, but, instead, focus on how not being circumcised is better for women. I think most men would be receptive to helping their son be better with women. 🙂

  2. Very well said, Kathy. I have learned a boatload about circ the past few years, esp the past year, and I try to gently educate others. I find that I often run into this very roadblock with men and have speculated as to why they are often so unwillingly to think objectively about circumcision. So true, though, that admitting circ is unnecessary means admitting that there’s something wrong with their own bodies. Additionally, I believe it must be very difficult for circumcised man to learn that he could be having more pleasureful sex (and his partner, too) if only he had not been circumcised.

    In a facebook discussion/debate on circ a few months back, my brother-in-law (who is Jewish), kept arguing that male circ is perfectly ok b/c it doesn’t change his ability to have sex and enjoy sex, while female circ takes away the enjoyment of sex. I kept re-stating facts about the physiology of foreskin, etc, but I knew I had to be careful cause I was treading on delicate territory.

  3. That is an interesting view.

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