Spotting again…

I picked up my son yesterday — he fell asleep in my lap after lunch, and I carried him to his room. I toyed with the idea of just trying to ooze out of the chair and leave him asleep in it, but figured he’d get better sleep in his own bed. I considered the possible “carrying a heavy weight”-spotting connection, and said, “Well, I haven’t had any spotting for a while; maybe it wasn’t that anyway; am I supposed to go the whole 9 months making sure I lift nothing heavier than 10 pounds?? So, I carried him. And to add insult to injury (possible injury, although I hope not!) — he didn’t stay asleep.

This morning, I woke up to spotting. It’s not as heavy as the other times I had red bleeding, but it has been all day, which is longer than the other times; and it hasn’t seemed to have abated much if at all. Plus, I can feel slight cramping much of the time — it’s slight so that if I’m distracted I don’t feel it, but if I think about it, I can. So, I’m back on my self-imposed restrictions — I also had not been worrying about when or how many times or how quickly I went up and down stairs. No other possibilities spring to mind about what may have caused it. And I know it’s possible that nothing I did or didn’t do has caused it… but the onset was too similar to the other times — definite onset within several hours of carrying something heavy (my child, a frozen 20-lb turkey, etc.) — for me to just dismiss it as coincidence.

Some study suggested that more women who miscarried had done vigorous exercise (running, bouncing type exercises — quick, rapid motions) in their first-trimester miscarriage. However, I also read something many months or perhaps even years ago about a similar-sounding study (perhaps even the same one), that noted that the study in question was retrospective, and asked women perhaps many months or even a year after their miscarriage about their exercise habits. Time may have clouded the recall of these women; and if they knew that the researchers were focusing on the possibility that exercise may have caused miscarriage, they may have misremembered how little and how mildly they exercised; and the other women who did not have miscarriages may likewise have misremembered how how much and how vigorously they exercised. What would be far better would be to gather a group of women who were trying to conceive, and have the women keep an exercise diary both in the pre-conception period as well as at least through the first trimester (or at least until miscarriage), to see prospectively how exercise might affect pregnancy.

However, until I see that study (and perhaps even then, because I might be an exception to the rule!), I’m going to take it easy; try not to go up and down stairs too much; when I do go up and down stairs, I will go more slowly, and not race up and down; I will not carry my child or anything heavy for several weeks more at least (so no helping my husband bring the Christmas tree in!) and I will try to relax and not worry.

Actually, I’m not worrying, because I know that if I am miscarrying, there’s nothing else I can do to prevent it. Although I suspect that if this current bleeding ends in a full-blown miscarriage, I will feel some measure of guilt for carrying Seth to bed. Trying not to think about that, though…

[Update — this spotting did end up being a full-blown miscarriage, but I don’t really feel guilty. Perhaps I “should” feel guilty, but I honestly feel that while my carrying him may have kick-started the spotting, that the miscarriage was ultimately unavoidable.]

6 Responses

  1. I am really sorry you are going through this. You want to feel like you might have some control over whether you miscarry, the flip side of that is feeling guilt at anything that you might have done “wrong.” I will be thinking of you and hoping that everything turns out fine.

  2. There actually has been a study similiar to such as you mentioned, although it followed women from before conception through birth (wasn’t specifically looking at miscarriage). It was looking on the effects of exercise on a host of things, if I remember correctly, depression, weight gain, gestational diabetes, premature birth, birth weight, and post partum depression. (I seem to remember it was mostly about the depression/moodiness of pregnancy/post partum, and it mentioned the other things as well) Unfortunately I know that in research side effect noted that do not have anything to do with their specific interest are frequently ignored, but you’d think any exercise study for pregnancy would mention an increase/decrease of miscarriage due to the ethics of doing any studies on pregnant women. I’ll see if I can’t find that article for you, but its been a while since I read it and it wasn’t in one of my usual (things I keep) resource places. I think it was reported in a ‘fit pregnancy’ or something similiar magazine I read while pregnant with my first child. I remember the point of the article was that any exerice activities you were doing previous to being pregnant could be continued during first trimester but should be slowly tapered as you gained weight/preggy belly, as pregnancy continued. Any new activity should be cleared before started. It found the usual things, exercise decreased depression, helped with weight gain/gestational diabetes, etc. Obviously ‘fit pregnancy’ is going to be biased, but might help your ‘its my fault’ guilt to flip through a few issues, since it obviously talks a lot about exercise during pregnancy. Will continue to pray. Did you see a doctor about this? Ultrasound/bloodwork? Not trying to pry, just wondering if you got any professional opinions that might help/hinder.

  3. Sorry you’re going through this. Knowing that whatever happens, good or bad, isn’t your fault isn’t the same as feeling it. Been there, done that–the only thing you can do is be as good to yourself as you can.

    Hoping things go well and that your babe stays safely put.

  4. I am sorry for your loss.

    My boys didn’t pick your name, but send me your snail mail address. I want to sendy ou a book anyway.

    • Oh, thank you!! That’s so nice!

      Kathy Petersen 90 CR 505 Ripley, MS 38663

      I’ve been bleeding all day today and yesterday; and passed a large… clot? today. There was no form or structure to it that made me think it was the baby [sorry for the TMI, but it looked more like a slug than anything else] — I’m going to do some more research to see about the possibility of an empty sac or some other “non-baby” pregnancy. It’s possible that I’ve already passed the baby and didn’t notice it, although I’ve been checking as much as I could. I have faint hope, but am trying to be realistic. Maybe I’ll go to a gyn for some blood draws to test hCG levels and confirm a miscarriage, just to know.

      Thank you for your kind words and thoughts, Kathy WomanToWomanCBE.wordpress.com katsyfga.wordpress.com

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