Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

It was October 15, so I’m a little late. I didn’t realize there was even such a worldwide day of remembrance, until a few of my facebook friends posted it (mostly those who had miscarriages), and some of the blogs I read likewise mentioned it.

Many women experience miscarriage — I’m not sure of the exact percentage. It seems like I’ve heard that one in six pregnancies end in miscarriage, but I’m not sure how accurate that figure is. I know a lot of women who had miscarriages; many women have multiple miscarriages — my sister had three prior to her two successful pregnancies, and others have none. Many women experience babies who are stillborn, or who die in their first year of life.

Some women grieve as much over an early miscarriage as other women grieve over a full-term or infant loss. However, many people seem to judge women who grieve over early pregnancy losses, as if they were somehow less connected to their child, or they ought to have loved him or her less. Many infertile women grieve over their menstrual cycle, with every month being like a pregnancy loss, since it is evidence that there will be no child born from this month’s attempt at conception.

If you’re on facebook, I think you will be able to read this note (My Forever Child), with multiple links to information websites.

4 Responses

  1. I believe it is 1 in 4 women miscarry (25%) but again, who knows how accurate that is?

    We lit two candles last night for our two [early] losses.

  2. There’s some awful things that happen to women who miscarry…the way they are spoken to. It’s like labor really, we’re treated like children. We’re led along and expected to grin and bear it. I had a D&E after a iufd. I didn’t want a D&E but since I wasn’t prepared, I didn’t ask for an induction. I then didn’t think to ask for remains to do with them what I wanted. I ended up asking later and was told they “go out with the other medical waste” by an RN on the L&D floor when I called. I ended up calling a state representative who got a line written in a law…women in KS are now supposed to be informed at the hospital that they have a right to the remains of their unborn babies who have died. A loss is a loss as far as I’m concerned. If it doesn’t bother a mother, okay. But if it does, we need to help her grieve. It’s an awful thing.

  3. When a woman experiences an early loss, she may feel more isolated. I think this is due to a couple reasons…people around her may not have known she was even pregnant. This then requires the woman to rehash everything over and over. The other reason for feeling isolated is the tendency for people to view the early loss as not really a baby yet. I remind women that a loss is a loss, regardless of when it happens and a woman is entitled to grieve.

  4. October 15th is NOT Worldwide Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day!!! It is incorrect information such as this which serves to undermine the efforts of individuals’ world wide who are lobbying to recognize October 15th as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

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