Back during the hockey playoffs, the next to the last game Chicago played, they were decimated — ended up losing by either 5-1 or 6-1. It was horrible. My husband is from Chicago and loves hockey, but he didn’t even watch the last period — it was too painful. The next day, the Chicago coach made excuses along the lines of “the referee made a bad call and it got us off our game.” Looking at the video of the coach during the majority of the game, you could see that he was just absolutely p*$$ed. Consequently, he didn’t coach very well. And his team didn’t play very well either — whether it’s because they missed his coaching, or they picked up on his rotten mood, or something.
But here’s the deal — sometimes life hands you something unexpected, and it does no good to dwell on it like the Blackhawks coach did. In fact, his inability to rise above the bad call (if indeed it was a bad call — I can’t remember; but I do remember that the ‘Hawks benefitted from some bad calls made on the other team, but I didn’t hear the other coaches whining about it) may have cost his team the game.
Sometimes this happens in birth. It can take a number of different forms — a planned home birth ending up being a transfer; a planned vaginal birth ending in a C-section due to transverse lie; a planned unmedicated birth ending up needing some medication, etc. Sometimes women get bowled over by the intensity of the contractions, and might get scared by them, and their careful plans of how they’re going to meditate and/or relax through labor get thrown out the window.
Rise above it. Shake off the one aspect of birth that didn’t go the way you planned. Salvage what you can.
Sometimes an unexpected occurrence may make a woman throw up her hands in despair, and say, “If this didn’t go right, then nothing will!” And that’s not necessarily so. Sure, there are stories of women who planned home births who ended up having a C-section in a hospital. But that doesn’t mean that all transfers to the hospital will end up as C-sections. But if you give up, there’s a greater likelihood that it will happen to you! Don’t abandon all hope and your plans when a disruption occurs. It may be that it’s just a minor hiccup, but if you keep focusing on the negative (like the coach who just couldn’t get over the bad call), you’re going to be stuck in the negative, and then you may end up with just what you’re afraid of. Take a deep breath and say, “Well, I didn’t expect that! But I can still do this and this and this like I planned. Keep focusing on the positive.