One of my friends had this on her facebook status:
“Those who’ve abandoned their dreams will discourage yours. Your job is to not listen.” Bill Baren
Is that not so true? Serendipitously, I had just finished reading an email from a birth-y list in which the topic was “birth circles” and talking about birth; and the woman said that she was at a gathering of moms recently when the topic (of course) turned to birth, and all the mothers were very vocal about their wonderful epidurals and “why would anybody want to go without one”; and this woman felt intimidated from even sharing her experience (which would also answer the question why some women would choose to forgo an epidural). Fortunately, one other woman was also reticent, and when asked about her experience, told her natural-birth story, which opened the door for the first woman also to tell her story.
The above quote reminded me of my sister, who is one of those “planned a natural birth, had a horrendous labor, why didn’t I go with an epidural sooner” moms, and she tends to discourage others from even trying. I understand why; but just because you tried and failed (or rather, the system failed you), it doesn’t mean that others will likewise fail. Nor does it mean that even if they try and fail, that there was no benefit in trying.
But this quote is also illustrated by the “crabs in a bucket” story. Apparently, when catching crabs you can toss ’em into a bucket and don’t even have to put a lid on, because if you get at least two crabs in, then it doesn’t matter how big the bucket is nor how many crabs you put in — if one crab tries to get out, the other crabs will grab it and drag it back down. How many women have abandoned their dreams, and whenever anyone still reaches for that same dream (tries to climb out of the bucket), will actively discourage or pull them back into the place where they are all trapped?