This is going to be skimpy on details, because it’s the birth story of one of my sisters-in-law’s children, and she doesn’t give all the “details” like you hear in many birth stories, but I thought it was funny.
It was her first baby, and she went into labor at 38 weeks exactly, and had a fast-for-a-first-timer and unmedicated birth (maybe pitocin since she was in the hospital, but I know she declined an epidural with her first two births, and chose an epidural for her last two births). Anyway, as she was pushing, her (male) doctor and the L&D nurse were trying to coach her. You’d kinda have to know my sister-in-law, because she comes from an artistic family and is pretty dramatic, and she finally got tired of them telling her what to do and how to do it.
So, she glared at her doctor and bitingly asked, “Have you ever had a baby?!” Of course, the doctor had to admit that he had not.
Then she turned to the young nurse and repeated the question, “Have you ever had a baby?” The nurse also admitted that she had not.
Whereupon my sister-in-law said, “THEN STOP TELLING ME HOW TO PUSH!!!” And they did.
And would you believe it, even though she was a first-time mom, she actually managed to push her baby out all by herself, without any help or instruction on the part of people who were outside her body and didn’t know what she was feeling? Amazing! 🙂