A Miscarriage Story

My LMP was Oct. 11. I didn’t really “know” if I was pregnant prior to missing my period, but there were times when I suspected I was. With both of my other pregnancies (but no other times when my period was later than 29 days), I have had some breast sensitivity as well as feeling discomfort when lying on my belly, even before being “late,” and this was no exception. I tried to pretend it wasn’t there — that I was imagining things. Then day 29 came and went, as did day 30, and day 31. I’ve never gone later than 31 days without being pregnant, so when days 32 and 33 came and went with no period starting, I was pretty darn sure.

There were a few different reasons why I didn’t rush right out and get a pregnancy test, but the main one was that several months prior, I had a feeling that I would be getting pregnant, but would have a miscarriage; and I felt that if I never took a pregnancy test, then I could just pretend I was really late, if I had an early miscarriage. So, I was supposed to have started on a Monday, but I didn’t go to the store until Saturday. Then, even though I took the test mid-day (my husband was bugging me to take it, so I didn’t wait for the next morning), it did register a positive.

We told our mothers on Sunday; and then on Monday, I started spotting. It was light pink, and stopped within half a day, but it was nerve-wracking nonetheless. Then everything seemed okay for a few days, until Friday, when that night I started bleeding — it was red, although it did lighten up by the next day. Then Saturday night, it started again, but stopped again; and Sunday night, yet again, I started spotting (though less), and it stopped quickly. I weighed the decision to go get an ultrasound, but ultimately decided against it — mostly since I had stopped bleeding; but also, because I didn’t really think there was anything that could be done if I were going to miscarry. And if the baby’s heart were beating, and I still had a miscarriage? — I figured it would hurt more, emotionally. And if there were no heartbeat, then I would just be sitting and waiting for the inevitable miscarriage to start, or perhaps feel pressure to have a D&C, or some other intervention.

Interventions have their place, but there is a risk of scarring and infection from a D&C, so I don’t know that I would be comfortable having one unless there were some definite indication of needing one (as opposed to just, “Well, there’s no heartbeat, so let’s just get this over with.”) Besides, I’ve heard of at least one story in which a woman had an early ultrasound that did not detect a heartbeat, opted for a natural miscarriage, then a few weeks later when she hadn’t started miscarrying yet, she went back to the doctor, who discovered that there was another baby — a living baby — which is why she was still pregnant, and it would have been killed with a D&C. Rare, I know; but I would want to make sure. Of course, there is also a risk of infection with no D&C, if the miscarriage is not complete, but I felt comfortable waiting for nature to take its course.

So, the last spotting was on Nov. 22. For that next week, I tried to continue with life as normal, as if in expectation of the pregnancy continuing normally — but there was always that little voice in the back of my mind, that I was going to have a miscarriage. It was there before I had the pregnancy test, and when I first had the spotting, and only increased afterwards. With the first red bleeding, I said, “Well, that’s it — I’m miscarrying, and there’s nothing I can do about it.” I “said goodbye” to the baby, and felt that that was it. But then, it stopped.

Then, on Dec. 2, a Wednesday, I started bleeding again, almost as heavy as my period. In a way, it felt like my body was catching up to what my brain already knew (although, I will grant that “intuition” can be wrong, and my intuition could have been wrong then), so I didn’t feel very much grief — more like, “Okay, well now I know for sure.” Prior to the first red bleeding/spotting, I sometimes felt like I was “really” pregnant (as in, that I would really be having a baby); but after that, I was much more tentative — outwardly, everything seemed to be fine and I acted as if I were in full expectation of giving birth within another 7-8 months or so, but inwardly, I felt like I was living a lie. Although I still “felt pregnant” (sensitive breasts and a heavy, full-feeling uterus), my brain just wasn’t “there,” if you get my meaning. I had a small hope that it might stop again, as the other spotting and bleeding had, but it didn’t. Primarily, the feeling I felt was a relief that it was actually over — much like a person might feel from watching a loved one struggle with cancer and finally succumb — sorrow that death has come, but relief that the person’s suffering is finally over.

Physically, my miscarriage was very much like a period — I didn’t cramp much, although it did feel good to have a heating pad on my stomach (and I never think of a heating pad when menstruating). In fact, I’ve cramped worse with some periods. From what I can gather, the further along in pregnancy you are, the more painful and labor-like a miscarriage is. In early pregnancy, like mine, it is common for it to be similar to a period; but starting around 10-14 weeks or so, some women have said that it was every bit as painful as labor, and more than one of my friends said it was much worse. A few stories I’ve read have described the miscarriage as feeling like labor, with contractions every few minutes.

Several people have told stories of how they were able to catch and identify (and sometimes to bury) the baby; I felt bad about the idea of flushing the baby down the toilet, but didn’t know exactly how to avoid that, since I was feeling no contraction-like cramps. One of my friends (who miscarried at 14 weeks) said that she labored over the toilet, with a colander beneath her, so she could catch the baby. That made sense, except that my miscarriage was more like a period, with no identifiable “this is it” cramps; and it didn’t seem feasible to sit on the toilet all the time for days and days.

Here’s where I get into TMI — if you’re squeamish don’t feel like you have to read on. I include these, though, because there wasn’t a whole lot of detail in any of the stories I read (which admittedly, weren’t many), and I thought some women might find benefit from them. I don’t even know if what I experienced was normal (although I suspect it was); it’s just my story, as it happened.

The first two days of bleeding, there was nothing except period-like blood and an occasional clot (not big enough to be a baby even at that early gestation), although it’s possible that something passed that I didn’t see or identify (after all, toilet paper can obscure a lot). Then the next day, a couple of different times, there was some tissue on my pad, that I didn’t feel passing — it was just there when I went to the bathroom. To describe it… it looked basically like a reddish slug — no form or structure — just sort of gelatinous.

Several years ago, I remember seeing a CSI episode in which a woman was killed, and on autopsy, it was discovered that she was pregnant, about six weeks along. As part of the investigation, they removed the embryo (fetus ?), and dropped it into a little tray (I’m thinking for genetic testing, to be able to identify the father… and therefore prime suspect in the woman’s death), and it made a little clink sound. [Yes, I know it is fictional; but they did try to be realistic in these shows, so I will assume that the sound effect was accurate.] I’ve seen embryonic development pictures, so I wasn’t expecting it to look like a full-term baby or anything, but I was expecting to see some structure, even if it was just the size of a pea. So, I dismissed these things as… not baby — not sure what it might have been, though.

Because I knew that I wouldn’t necessarily feel things passing through my vagina, I would usually wipe first (and would frequently get blood clots), then use the bathroom. There was nothing remotely embryonic, though. Then, on Saturday, I felt something pass — just out of the blue. I went to the bathroom and saw this [it's graphic, so if you're squeamish, don't look]. Because of its size [this graphic picture shows it in my hand, so you can see the size of it, compared to my fingers], I felt like it was the main or total mass of the pregnancy, and if there were a baby, it would definitely be in there. But again, I felt nothing remotely solid, except perhaps what could be membranes, possibly the placenta — but no embryonic skeleton, no arm buds or leg buds — nothing.

In a way, that makes me feel better, as if perhaps it was a blighted ovum, and there was no way that it could ever have been a successful pregnancy. I don’t say that to suggest that women who do have confirmed “empty sac” pregnancies  should grieve less — because it is still the loss of the pregnancy, and the baby and the idea of a baby and the dream of a baby. But for me, it felt better. I recognize that perhaps the baby passed when I didn’t see it or notice it; or also, that the development stopped (the baby died) very early in the pregnancy, so perhaps it was the size of a sesame seed still, or perhaps was even being absorbed, and I wouldn’t have seen/recognized it.

After that, there was very little other than period-like blood that passed — a few small clots, but no more tissue. The bleeding continued, though it slacked off a tiny bit, Sunday through Tuesday; then almost as if a switch were thrown, Wednesday, I had almost no bleeding at all. There was a tiny bit of spotting, but not even enough to completely “use” a pantyliner. And today, only the faintest of color. I was expecting a more gradual end to the bleeding — much like I experience in a normal period, or like I had with postpartum lochia, where it gradually fades from red to dark red to brown to nothing. But perhaps since it was heavier flow, the uterine lining shed faster, so it went faster, and then just stopped.

I could tell that my breast sensitivity had decreased slightly after a few days of bleeding, but it really took a nosedive after I passed the tissue. I feel distinctly “un-pregnant.”

When I talked to my midwife friend to tell her that I had had a miscarriage, I asked her what to look for, to tell me if I should go to the doctor. She said that if I bled for longer than a week after passing the baby, that would be a sign of retained “products of conception” [with my uterus not recognizing that the baby was gone, so still directing blood flow to it], and I would need to see a doctor, and perhaps have a D&C (although I would have requested Cytotec, because there is no known risk of uterine rupture as early in pregnancy as I was, and a D&C might cause scarring and future fertility problems). Had I not been pregnant, my uterine lining would have shed in 7 days; being pregnant, it got thicker and more lush, so there was more to shed, and I was expecting it to take between 1-2 weeks to fully empty. However, it has taken me just over a week for the full miscarriage, which with a normal menstrual flow being 7 days for me, I would consider that to be well within the range of normal.

Update — for more miscarriage stories which talk about the physical aspects of miscarriage (what it feels like, how long it took, how much blood loss there was, what it looked like), you can go to mothering.com, register, then go to the forums; the main thread is “pregnancy and birth” and then “pregnancy and birth loss”, where it’s a “sticky” thread at the top of the forum. You will have to register before you can even see any of the topics, much less the posts themselves, in this folder. I’m glad it’s there, because often there is little or no mention of these physical aspects; and for my part, it helps to know whether something is normal or abnormal, or just that other women have gone through the same thing, even if their experience is a little or a lot different from mine.

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111 Responses

  1. Wow, Kathy. Thank you for sharing your experience. I have never had a miscarriage and I know it is different for every woman, but to be able to read about yours and see pictures, etc. Has helped me better understand what it may be like.

    I find it fascinating you sensed you would have a miscarriage months ago. Mother’s intuition is amazing.

    I hope that when you are ready you are able to easily get pregnant again and go on to have an easy pregnancy.

    Hugs!

  2. ((hugs)) I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this, Kathy. You will continue to be in my prayers.

  3. Interesting that you may have at least found the sac or something I found that my early miscarriage (at 5 weeks) was odd. Like a period most of the time but as you say, start and stop bleeding. I actually saw what I thought was a smooth side of lining and strangely like fruit roll up shiny side (gross I know). I never had the gel thingy, so I never saw this one (at 5 weeks). Different than my other two.

    I know you don’t feel brave sharing details, but I think it helps women to know what may be normal for them based on your experiences.

  4. Off topic question…I have normal iron but “borderline.” I forgot to ask the numbers. I have been lax about my prenatals, and they are different than last pregnancy ( she has me taking one with a second DHA pill…the iron may or may not be lower). I also have bowel problems since my last daughter was born, and even soft stools get “stuck.” I think I have a bit of prolapse or weakness in muscles. So, when the doc ordered FeSo4, I thought “there is no way I’m taking another vitamin and a stool softener.” I would like to increase iron naturally (after all, I’m in normal ranges). It’s just that the decrease is significant since my iron levels just a few months ago were very good. She’s concerned I’ll go low and it will hurt me at birth if I bleed very much. I get it, I do, but I want to do this more with diet than anything. I have gotten out the old iron skillet for cooking to add iron to meals. I will take my suppliment with orange juice from now on at bed time. Any suggestions (sorry this is off topic, but I didn’t see where I could ask questions…)

    Blessings!

    • Of course discuss all this with your doctor/midwife, but from the best of my knowledge/recollection…

      Most women experience a decrease in iron levels at two different times in pregnancy, due to the rapid increase in blood volume. Basically, the actual amount of iron in your body remains the same, but the amount of blood increases, which effectively “dilutes” the proportion of iron in your blood (much like drinking extra water dilutes your urine). Of course, this could be or become problematic, so it’s probably a good idea to get the iron levels up.

      One thing I’ve heard of but not actually done, is to take chlorophyll as an alternative to extra iron. And, of course, you can get iron in foods.

      Of course, too much meat could slow down your digestion, so you may want to increase your beans instead; and/or increase leafy greens, walk extra, etc., to keep your bowels moving well.

      When I do squats of various types, it feels like it strengthens my whole pelvic girdle. I may be wrong, but I feel stronger during and after a squat. I know that Kegel exercises of various types can help with that, as well, but that often women don’t do them correctly. It occurred to me that perhaps squatting is a natural “kegel” exercise; or that doing them while squatting could be beneficial, but I haven’t done any research into it — it’s just one of those things that struck me while doing them. I don’t know if these may help at all with an internal bowel prolapse, but thought I’d throw it out there, just in case. Of course, if you’re heavily pregnant and/or haven’t done squats in years, you will need to ease into it, and do supported squats and don’t go deep. I remember reading an article some time ago that when people don’t squat with some frequency/regularity, that the muscles used in squatting become weak (and therefore prone to injury, if you suddenly start squatting). These muscles are very strong in people who squat in the regular course of their days, but sadly lacking in Western cultures with all of our nice, comfy chairs.

  5. Wow, thanks for sharing. Now going through a miscarriage recently myself, it is helpful to hear others experiences.

    Today was my first day that I have finally stopped bleeding. I had my miscarriage 5 weeks ago tomorrow. I really didn’t want a D&C either, but because I was bleeding still I went to the doctor yesterday. By then I was not worried cause my bleeding finally was to a minimum.

    You talked about feeling like you subconciously knew you would have one. Now looking back I think I knew also but didn’t want to believe because we were so excited.

    So sorry for what you have gone through. It really sucks. For me it has truly taught me to mourn with those who mourn. Experience facilitates empathy!

    I am copying an email I wrote to my sister in law about my experience with my miscarriage. Hope it can help someone out there.

    “Hi Chels,

    Sorry this has taken so long. I told you I would send an update. Here is what I wrote a friend of mine right after it happened a little over 2 weeks ago.

    “I had a midwife appointment on Friday morning and she set up a time for me to go to a clinic to get a follow up ultra sound and to talk to that doctor about options. I ended up having her give me the prescription for the misoprostol just in case I wanted to use it. I did NOT want to have a D&C. I got home and talked with Dan and we decided I should just do the meds to get it over with. I was really nervous because that is what they gave me when they induced Caleb and it was horrific. I also read a message board about it and women were saying they were hurting so bad that they wish they could get the epidural. However, I just wanted to be done. I’m SO GLAD I did it because it really wasn’t horribly painful. I think I was expecting it to be way worse because of what I have heard from others. My sister who had a miscarriage and has had 3 unmedicated births said it’s like active labor. Well, it went smoothly. I used the meds at 5pm and started heavily bleeding by 10:30pm. I was able to go to bed around midnight (kind of) and then woke up to a gush. I thought I just passed another blood clot but it was actually my water breaking. I went into the tub and passed the baby and then the placenta shortly thereafter. Dan was with me the whole time. This was 1:30am. I was so relieved it worked because the meds don’t always work. Also, I had already felt peace so seeing the baby was not hard like I thought it would be, although I think it was much harder for Dan because it made it much more real to him. We think it was a boy. It’s amazing how something so tiny can have so much detail. We could even see his mouth and little tongue. Even though I wish I could have carried to term, it still is a miracle that this little body can be created. I feel at peace and know this little person will come back to me. My mom asked me if it was hard to see the baby and it really wasn’t because I wasn’t attached to the body, but the spirit, and I mourned the spirit a week and a half ago. I do think it would have been much harder to see the baby if I miscarried not knowing the baby was dead before hand. I was able to prepare for it and choose when it happened. Long explanation:-), but know I am doing really good considering the circumstance. I just pray we get pregnant again quickly. I think it will!”

    Then here is what I wrote to Jill some time after I wrote the first part.

    “I have had some hard days since writing this. Sometimes I think I’m more or less “over it” but then all of a sudden my heart just aches. I keep seeing Dan’s face as he was looking at the baby and the sadness in his eyes. He is doing good and really so am I. I think the hardest thing for me now is the fear that “what if I can’t get pregnant again”. I know it will happen, I just pray it happens soon. People take fertility so for granted. I can’t imagine being one of those people who decides to get pregnant and it happens the next month. It seems like there have been a lot of “I’m pregnant” announcements with my friends lately. I struggle that every time I hear one I’m excited for them but then there is always a feeling of sadness. I know this will pass.”

    I am doing well now. It has definitely gotten easier, and I have a good friend that just had a baby and I was just happy for her, the sadness wasn’t there which is a blessing.

    It was fun having Ben here last week. I love that he comes out every month. It will be such a blessing for Caleb to really get to know his uncle.

    I will be up for Christmas so I will see you then. Chels, please don’t hesitate to tell me when you are pregnant. I would definitely be super excited for you. It will happen soon for both of us!!!!

    Much love,

    Bri”

  6. http://www.pregnancyloss.info is a good site. She used to run “boards” there where women could support one another, but some women got fiesty with one another. Also, I think she was getting obnoxious comments from posters herself. There may still be a board. However, her information is pretty good in her articles. She tells women what can happen, what’s common, and when to check with a doctor. Her articles discuss loss, mourning the baby, and dealing with going on. They also discuss trying again and fertility. You may not agree with all her recommendations, but that’s okay. Good site. I really needed it when I had my 16 week followed immediately by a 5 week followed by a “successful” pregnancy. Those were crazy roller coaster emotional days and it was nice to read information on what to expect in miscarriage as well as get support. She also eventually wrote a manuscript for a book with several women in a miscarriage support group that met every week. I got to read it, but I think she never published it. People who miscarried understood, but it just wouldn’t translate to people who did not miscarry. They felt it was unrealistic. It dealt some with how the public treats women who miscarry and how they are seen as hysterical and how outlandish behavior is “typical” when really it’s occassionally coping…but not normative for everyone. It also shows the support women give each other in miscarriage and how they can care for one another despite class or race. Sad to see it not published. She’s published other books, not sure if they are self published or what. Anyway, good site with much information. I would share it with a woman having her first miscarriage for sure, and those who have had a few but don’t have much medical knowledge.

  7. Thanks for being willing to share your experiences, information it is really hard to get.

    I have had two early miscarriages (7W), one of them with a D&C, and several “chemical pregnancies” (i.e. where an embryo implants and starts to make pregnancy hormone but not high enough to get a strong positive pregnancy test). They were different experiences from each other. The D&C one was the worst, I was in severe labor-like pain afterwards, bad enough that I had to go to the emergency room. Surprisingly, one of my chemical pregnancies also resulted in labor-like pains during my period, even though my period was only a few days late.

  8. Both of my miscarriages were at about 6 wks, and they were nothing more than a heavy period with a few clots and lining here and there. I never had the labor pains some people have or anything. It was as simple as bleeding for a week and it was as if it never existed.

    I want to thank you for sharing your story. People talk behing my back about how I wasn’t over my miscarriages a month after them. Like I was wallowing in pain that wasn’t real.

    People think that a miscarriage isn’t a baby. That unless its a stillbirth it shouldn’t be grieved. They don’t understand the love u feel instantly for ur baby whether u are 4 wks or 40.

    I hope this story gets around. Miscarriage shouldn’t be a taboo subject. It happens, and people need to be there for u just as if u had given birth at term and ur child passed away. Its the same thing and it needs to be respected.

    Thank you again!

  9. Thanks for sharing, Kathy. Hugs. Your experience is very similar to my second pregnancy which was a blighted ovum. My first miscarriage was different in the sense that there was a bigger mass, and a placenta and cramping. It’s hard to not see a baby in the pictures though. I don’t know if you have that too. If the miscarriage occurred because of malformation, it would be hard to see a fetus perhaps as well, so it’s hard to say which it is. And like you said, it doesn’t matter as far as loss goes.

    Take care of yourself, rest, drink and play with your kids.

  10. Thanks for sharing your story. There is a whole thread in the Pregnancy and Birth Loss forum at Mothering.com called “what exactly do you see with a m/c” and it is full of women’s stories/experiences. I think it is very valuable to share miscarriage stories–in full, no just “I lost the baby.”

    The picture definitely looks like the sac plus placental tissue to me. In other stories I read on Mothering about miscarriages at about this same time, they often referred to something coming out that looked like a “large grape”–several opened the grape and were no able to find the baby, or if they did, it looked like a pencil eraser or “fish egg.”

    As I’ve written several times on my blog, my miscarriage experience (14w5d) was very much a labor and birth. Nothing period-like about it! I purposely labored OFF of the toilet because I did not want my baby to fall into the toilet. I had leftover Depends from previous children’s births and so I put those on (very smart of me if I do say so myself!) and then labored on a futon outside of the bathroom.

    I wrote my complete story in my journal (19 pages!) and plan to write a version to post on my blog soon.

    Again, (((hugs))) and thanks for sharing!

    • Molly,

      Thanks for telling me about the Mothering.com forum. Most of the miscarriage stories I’ve heard deal strictly with the emotional aspect of things, with very little mention of anything physical (much less a graphic description of what exactly one might see/experience). Much of the time, the miscarriage is just talked about in the barest of terms — “I’ve had a miscarriage” is the sum total usually mentioned, with little or nothing said about what it felt like, what it looked like, etc. There is a wide range of experiences, I know, both physically and emotionally.

      For others who want to read the stories and descriptions on mothering.com, you will need to register before you can see the posts. Then, go to the forums; the main thread is “pregnancy and birth” and then “pregnancy and birth loss”, where it’s a “sticky” thread at the top of the forum.

      • It is a good (and very graphic) thread. I’d read many pages of it quite some time ago (I forget why) and I felt prepared for some aspects of my m/c based on that pre-reading (the fact that it might feel like LABOR and not cramps, etc.)

        I have TONS of books about m/c (I had to laugh at the inner librarian in me even while going through the m/c, because I already had SIX books about miscarriage/childbearing loss on my bookshelf–I’ve since purchased about 5 more). I agree that almost all books and mentions focus on emotional and not physical aspects. My hypothesis is perhaps that is because, just like birth, many miscarriages take place in a hospital setting and perhaps the physical elements are not so *present*?

  11. Wow, talkbirth. It would be so hard to have a miscarriage that late in the pregnancy. I was amazed at how formed the baby was at 9weeks 3 days. I too did not want to labor on the toilet. I just couldn’t imagine flushing the baby down the toilet. I labored in the tub. Mine wasn’t really “labor”, but I could tell when it was going to come. We actually still have the baby and placenta (probably too much info) in the freezer. My husband is s resident doctor so we are keeping it just in case we have another miscarriage so we can get some testing done on both to see if there is something going on as to why. Not sure what we will do with it. I just can’t bear to “throw him away”. Maybe I’m holding onto him until I have a successful pregnancy so I can let go? Not sure. After having the miscarriage at home it made me realize how much better a homebirth would be. I really am grateful I didn’t miscarry in the hospital or get the D&C. Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. And thank you Kathy for being so open with yours. Much love to all.

    Bri

    • It was hard, Bri, and the baby was definitely fully formed and a “real baby.” We buried him near our home. Do you have somewhere special you could bury your baby when you feel the time is right?

      For me, a home miscarriage was very much like a homebirth (just without the happy ending of holding my full term baby!). I am very grateful I gave my baby and myself the gift of letting go of each other in our own comfortable, safe home instead of going to the hospital.

    • This is an old thread, but having miscarried once before and possibly being in the process now, I want to warn other mothers:

      DON’T put any tissue you’d like to have analyzed into the freezer! We made that mistake the first time … and learned the next day that because ice crystals damage the tissue, there was no useful information they could still get from it.

      If you want the embryo/fetus analyzed, use a cold refrigerator instead, and get it to a lab as soon as possible. I wish I’d known this the first time!

    • Thanks for that very real response. I don’t feel so weird now. I totally understand why you keep baby. Maybe eventually bury him and plant flowers over him? Hugs

  12. Thanks, everyone, who wrote. I read all the comments, and am glad that they are helpful to myself and to others.

  13. [...] unless she sits on a bucket all day, or puts a colander inside the toilet. In my case, I felt the biggest clump of tissue pass just a few minutes after using the bathroom, so it very easily could have fallen in the [...]

  14. Kathy,
    I’m sorry to see that you’ve miscarried. I’ve been away from your blog for awhile and just discovered that you miscarried. So sorry.

    I wanted to thank you for sharing the details you did (i.e., the TMI) because I have noticed that when a loss is described, there often isn’t enough detail to be helpful for someone who is trying to figure out how it all works (or at least how it worked for one person).

    Anyway, I imagine it is a more vulnerable postition to be so detailed, and I wanted to let you know that I found it very helpful to read what you went through, what it looked like, felt like, etc. I’m sure I’m not the only one who will find this post helpful or educational. Thank you so much for opening up and sharing.

  15. Thank you for sharing your story! I had a missed miscarriage the first time finding out at 11 1/2 weeks that it had stopped at 8 weeks. More recently am experiencing something akin to your story at 4 1/2 weeks. I went for a blood test today to find out if in fact I had been pregnant – given the evidence of two early pregnancy tests, and all of the symptoms I think it’ll be a positive.

    From both my first experience & my second, it’s important to hear these graphic stories – reminds me that I’m not alone. The first miscarriage was over a toilet and with all of the ‘glory’ of contractions – the bleeding lasted about two weeks. This second and current one is like an extremely heavy period with cramping. I had to go for a D&C to remove uterine polyps in January – and I would advise any women out there – if you trust your Ob/G – that its worth going for the D&C. I think emotionally miscarrying over a toilet is traumatic – and I’m still suffering for it as the flashbacks I had last night reminded me.

  16. [...] Womantowomancbe: Kathy’s miscarriage story [...]

  17. I found this helpfull, I had a baby 6 1/2 months ago and found out i was prenant again about two weeks ago, about three days ago i started spotting I didnt think much of it I’ve seen my sister practically bleed to death and still make it full term with a healthy baby. i contacted my doctor and got my hormone levels tested today and the lab said they were good and wanted to do a sono tomorow. Tonight i started felling worse and worse and the bleeding got verry heavy. I was passing small clots. I got felling so bad almost as bad as labor. I was breast feeding the baby and coughed I felt like a ton of blood came out so i gave her to daddy and ran to the bathroom, laying in my pad was somthing that resembles what is in your pic about the same size looks kind of stringy, I looked on the internet for hours trying to find a pic of somthing close to it. I knew it was not a baby. it’s weired becase i told my hubbie not to tell anyone about my pregancy until i got an ultrusound I knew somthing was not right. well anyway good thing noone knows no explaining or people feeling sorry for me. I’m glad i found this page it helped me understand what was happening, and the fact that it is so early in pregancy and that it was not an actual baby makes me feel at ease. now i wonder if i should even go to the ultrasound to see if there’s anything else left in there? after passing that I am not any longer in much pain. but i am wanting one more chilod mabey the doctor can educate me on things such as how long to wait and if it likley will happen agin.

    • Call your doctor and give him/her an update and see if it would be best to have an ultrasound. I don’t know if an u/s would identify “retained products of conception,” or if it would even be considered “retained” this close to the start of your miscarriage, or if the assumption is that everything will pass normally. Prolonged or continued bleeding is a sign that there is still some tissue that is making your uterus think it’s still pregnant (giving a good and steady blood supply).

      Some doctors recommend waiting a full cycle before trying to get pregnant again; others recommend at least three cycles to make sure your hormone levels are normal. I don’t know the reasoning behind those recommendations, nor which would apply in your case. I know that many women have gotten pregnant again immediately after a miscarriage without problems, but it may be that the repeat miscarriage rate is higher with two close conceptions. Your doctor will be able to help more than I can.

  18. Thanks for sharing, I just found this by chance and the pictures have really helped me. I had a mc 2 weeks ago and had an ERPC a week ago. I opted to bring the baby back with me which is currentky being tested as routine precaution, Im waiting for a call to collect it from the hospital.

    I thought I was about 7 weeks but it turned out after a scan that it measured as 5wks, after another week and 4 more scans it turns out it was a blighted ovum….yes I knw I said Im bringing the ‘baby’ home….I just feel I need to do something special and have some closure.

    My point is, Im too scared to look at what I do bring home when I get the call but now having seen ur pics I feel much better about that side of things.

  19. Hey Kathy,
    I am 16 years old, and my God, i defs would not be looking on the internet for stuff like this without a reason.
    I woke up this morning to HORRIBLE pains– it feels like my period and i dont know if this is related but i have small bruises on my legs.. like everywhere?? ( that wern’t there when i went to bed) and my face is beat red with little splotches everywhere, like a very bad rash!!
    I am so confused… i didnt go to school today and i just slept with a heater on my tummy. i went up stairs because the pain went away to get something to eat and i got like ‘a sudden rush’ feeling and my painties felt soaked. I thought it was like a weird gush of blood from my period starting (ew sorry) and there were 2 gooshy, red and white, vieny looking things, very much like the pictures you have…
    but it confuses me because i ALWAYS … ALWAYS use a condom… spermicide… AND im on birthcontrol.

    and other physical things that set me off early this month thinking i WAS PREGNANT… my boobs went from a small D to almost bulging DD… and my tummy has that ‘bloating’ feeling. I have had the weirdest cravings… i’ve neer been pregnant before so this is totally new to me.

    I am praying to God that what just passed is just a really messed up blod clot.

    If you have ANY answers to this PLEASEEEE reply. I dont know what to do… i dont know if this is a sign its much worse than having a miscarriage.

    • Bec, I’m sorry you’re going through this, whether it’s a miscarriage or something else. You need to see a doctor or midwife about this. It’s rare for someone to become pregnant while on birth control, and especially if using a condom as well, but it does happen. Both I and my sister were conceived while our parents used spermicide, so that fails as well. Nothing is guaranteed. You also need to be checked out for sexually transmitted diseases. Not only are there many diseases that can be spread even if a condom is used, but if you got pregnant that means you were exposed to even more. Try to see a doctor as soon as possible, because they should be able to determine if you are pregnant or were recently pregnant, either by blood tests or by examining your uterus. If you were not pregnant, then this is something else which may need more urgent attention or at least medical care, because it is not normal to pass things like that on your period or not. If you were pregnant and had a miscarriage, you need to know that you got pregnant, even if the miscarriage is normal and you don’t need any medical care for it. And if you are pregnant and did *not* have a miscarriage, then you need to see a doctor or midwife to make sure everything is progressing normally; and it’s best to start your prenatal care in the first trimester anyway.

  20. i just want to say this is a thankful thing you put on here.. im 18 and went threw this one night.. A couple months ago i had this same thing happen to me..but i was at the mall with my friend and just under a month before this i just started birth control so my period was late..i thought hey thats normal didnt think anything of it and a week before that had a minor surgery…but that friday night at the mall i had the worst pain i have ever had in my life…like majorly bad cramps and usually my cramps are bad but never been so bad i couldnt walk and i was getting really sweatie…well i finally made it home when my friend finally got me to then car and took me there..then i went to the bathroom and pulled out my tampon and came out this same thing..i showed my mom and she new what was wrong but didnt want to say anything and my friend that is going to school to be a nurse said it to..it was hard from thinkin life is good to that..not knowing and then finding out in the wrong wat that no person want to find out…but now even though my boyfriend is 22 and im still on birth control and our relationship is serious it has opened my eyes and seein that protected sex or no sex untill marraige is the way to go no matter what..so girls dont try something stupid even though others have had worse excpierences its not right to try and have a kid cause now i believe if your unprotected in any ways and just saying oh well to getting pregnant then your trying..so moms my mom didnt teach me alot when i was little about sex i really only learned it in school when i took child development and those babys they take home for 3-5 day isnt long enough trust me i did it when i was in high school and it just felt like i was babysitting for a couple days..

  21. I don’t know ANYTHING about pregnancies, miscarriages or any of this and I’m really scared…my boyfriend and I had unprotected sex three times in the last few months. Once on the 10th of April, once around the April 30th (estimation) and again the 26th of May. I had a period the 6th of April, and around the 2nd or 3rd of May. I’m overdue for my period now (6th of June), and it’s usually regular. I’ve had brown and light pink spotting for the last few days accompanied withcramping and today my cramps were pretty severe and a huge clot came out and it was slimy looking with some whitish-clear coloring. Is is possible to have a miscarriage this early if I was pregnant? If someone can give me some insight I’d really appreciated it. Thanks!

    • Yes, it’s possible to have a miscarriage at any time when pregnant, and many women have miscarriages that seem to them to be only their regular period, or just a few days late. Most early miscarriages (the ones that occur around the time you would expect your period) look just like periods, but the farther along you are, the bigger the baby and placenta, and the thicker your uterine lining, so there is more tissue to pass, and bigger structures to see.

      Based on the history of your sexual activity and menstruation, it is unlikely that you would have gotten pregnant, but based on what you describe, it sounds like you did get pregnant and have a miscarriage. You said that you had “unprotected sex” 3x; did you have sex at other times as well? It’s possible for the condom to have broken or leaked. Do you check it every time to make sure there were no holes or breaks? With “perfect use” most forms of birth control are about 98% effective; with “typical use,” that figure drops.

      Based on your last period being May 2-3, you sound like you were about as far as me, but perhaps a week or two behind; and what you’re describing is very similar to what I saw. You may want to get a pregnancy test, either over-the-counter or go to a doctor for a blood test. These tests work on how much of the pregnancy hormone (hCG) there is in either your urine or your blood. When the developing baby implants into your uterus, your body starts producing hCG, and the levels steadily increase for the first three months or so of pregnancy, with the levels usually doubling every 48 hours or so. Blood tests are more sensitive than urine tests; plus the amount of water you drink can dilute the hCG so that an OTC test might not detect it (I didn’t have a strong “positive” until my period was almost a week late, the first time I was pregnant). Blood tests can give you an exact amount of hCG; urine tests just have a threshold for showing “positive” after the levels of hCG get over a certain amount. When you have a miscarriage, the hCG levels begin to fall, either before the miscarriage or with the onset of it. It may take some time for the hCG levels to get back to normal, so if you take an OTC pregnancy test, it may show that you are still pregnant even if you have had or are having a miscarriage. If you get a blood test, they can tell you what your levels are, and then a few days later do another test and see if your levels have risen or fallen.

      If you don’t start what looks like a period soon, you may need to see a midwife or doctor to have a more thorough assessment (and you may want to see someone anyway, just for more personal and knowledgeable care than somebody over the internet). They will likely be able to do tests and give more answers. While the likeliest possibility is that you have had or are having a miscarriage and everything will just pass normally, other scenarios are possible, including that you were pregnant with twins, and you lost one baby but are still pregnant with another (I’ve known women that that has happened to); that you’ve lost the baby but your body hasn’t recognized that yet and you either need to just wait and let it pass normally, or your body needs a little “help” to empty your uterus (to avoid infection from retained tissue); or possibly something else I don’t know about. It’s probably nothing to be scared of, although I understand how scary anything unusual or out-of-the-ordinary can be. You may want to see a midwife just to be able to talk to someone about these things, even if you don’t need medical attention.

      Sadly, miscarriage is pretty common, so you may find that more women you know have had miscarriages than you ever thought. If you have an older, trusted friend you can talk to, or your mother, you may be able to talk to her and get the emotional support you need. You don’t give your age, so I don’t know if you’re a teenager or in your 20s or 30s or what (nor do I need to know), so I’m giving this advice in a generic way. Also, I would encourage you to think seriously about what would happen if you do get pregnant again (and don’t have a miscarriage). Sex is fun and all, but are you ready to have a baby? If not, maybe you need to cool things off with your boyfriend, for your own emotional protection if nothing else. While fathers are affected by pregnancy, miscarriage, and birth, they simply do not and cannot have the same emotions and level of involvement that the mother has, because men cannot get pregnant, they cannot have a miscarriage, they cannot carry a baby and feel the baby move inside them, and they cannot give birth to the baby. Women are uniquely affected, physically, mentally, and emotionally with pregnancy, miscarriage, and birth; the reality of a pregnancy falls most heavily on us. If you do not feel like you are ready to handle the consequences of sex, I would strongly encourage you to tell your body and your boyfriend, “no.” It’s not easy and it’s not fun to abstain from sex, but it is a lot better in so many ways, particularly in pregnancy avoidance when you’re not ready to be pregnant.

      • I am 24. No we hadn’t had sex any other times, my boyfriend lives about 7 hours away (he’s going to college in a different state than I am) so we don’t see each other all the time. We have talked about what would happen if I was pregnant, and if it were to happen we would be as ready as we could be as young parents. Ideally I wanted to be married, graduated college, and financially stable among other things. I am going to be more careful from now on because I do want more of that “ideal”. But for the situation now, I am not sure what is going on with my body, but it is definitely not normal. You said I could have been as far along as you were…how far along were you? The calculation of pregnancy is still new to me And since I had a period in May I’m confused, one thing I forgot to mention was that my period in May wasn’t on time, it was about a week later than normal. But I have read you cannot have your period while you are pregnant, so would I calculate from the first day I had my period in May, not April? After the clot had come out of me there was no bleeding, just dark spotting most of the night and occasionally smaller clots, and weirdly enough all of the clots floated in the toilet instead sinking like blood normally does. Today I am still cramping and there is a little blood. I’m not sure what I will do, but if I keep cramping and don’t see a “normal period” soon I will see a doctor. Thanks for the advice.

  22. First check the link on hydatidiform mole to make sure that’s not what you had/have. It’s an uncommon occurrence (about 1/1000 pregnancies), but it has an associated risk of cancer. I don’t want to scare you or freak you out, but *just in case* those “smaller clots” were these “grape-like” structures from a molar pregnancy, you may need some medical attention to eliminate the risk of cancer.

    Dating a pregnancy is a little complicated. Due dates and “gestational age” is calculated from day one of your LMP (last menstrual period), so 40 weeks from your LMP will be your due date, but this is about 38 weeks after the baby was conceived. Most women have fairly regular cycles, but some women have widely varying cycles. Even in women who are fairly regular, they may have times that are irregular — perhaps due to stress, hormones, or whatever. *Typically*, in a “regular” cycle, you start your period on day one, and ovulate about two weeks later, then 14 days after you ovulate, you start your period again. If you get pregnant, then your “first day of pregnancy” is actually the first day of your last period, so for the first two weeks of your “pregnancy” you aren’t actually pregnant — you haven’t even ovulated yet! Confusing? Yeah. You may want to think of it as every menstrual cycle is the start of a new potential pregnancy, if that makes more sense. [But to further complicate matters, some doctors and books will start dating pregnancy and the age of the baby as at conception, and then switch after the end of the 1st trimester to the conventional "gestational age". This makes sense to say that 24 hours after conception the baby is 1 day old, rather than two weeks and one day; but it can be confusing when they give a date as 8 weeks, and don't say whether it's gestational age or fetal age. Like I said, confusing -- but most people use gestational age all the time, starting 2 weeks before conception.]

    So, the typical “dating” of pregnancy is Day 1, you start your last period; day 14 (or somewhere around there, depending on how long or short your cycle is) you ovulate — I usually ovulate on day 15 and have a 29-day cycle; within about 24 hours the egg is fertilized or dies (sperm can live in the female body for 3-5 days and occasionally longer); the fertilized egg usually implants sometime within the next week and starts forming the tiny placenta, umbilical cord, and baby. At this point, you’re usually “about 3 weeks along,” even though the baby was conceived only one week before, and you’re still a week away from missing your next period.

    I was about 8 weeks along (6 weeks after conception, 4 weeks after missing my period) when I had my miscarriage, but I believe that the baby had stopped growing a couple of weeks before. Since your last period was May 2-3, you would be considered about 6 weeks along.

    Some women experience light bleeding or spotting mid-cycle which can be from when the embryo implants into the uterine lining — this can coincide with the expected time of the next period and may be mistaken for a very light period. Some women also experience light bleeding at other times throughout pregnancy, for no currently known reason. Occasionally, rarely, some women will have light “periods” every month they are pregnant (or perhaps even regular periods!), which sometimes delays the realization and recognition of pregnancy — they assume they aren’t pregnant because they bleed every month.

    Again, based on the dates you initially told me about your periods, it sounds like you usually have a period about every 4 weeks or 28 days; however, since you said you were about a week late in May, that sounds like you normally have a short cycle, if you should have started around April 26. Since it usually takes about 14 days from ovulation until your period starts again, having sex on April 10 could have been while you were fertile. But, honestly, if your cycle got messed up from stress, hormones, or just isn’t regular (one of my friends considers “normal” for her to be 30-35 days from one period to the next), it’s a tough call to know exactly when you ovulated and/or should have started.

    You can look up “Natural Family Planning” and “Fertility Awareness Method” for ways to get in touch with your own body to determine if you’re ovulating or not — and this works even if your cycles are not regular, or if one month they get really off. The hallmark sign of ovulation is that your cervical mucus which is normally thick and keeps the uterus closed from invading bacteria (or sperm) thins out for a few days to allow sperm to enter. It starts to look like egg-white. This thin mucus actually nourishes the sperm and helps it to stay alive long enough to reach the egg (sperm usually dies within about 30-60 minutes after it leaves the man; inside the uterus it can live for several days). While this is a bit of a simplification, when you’re fertile, you’ll have cervical mucus, and when you’re not, you won’t. There’s more to it than that, so please read more in-depth on the subject if you’re going to use that as a method of birth control. A whole lot of women have gotten pregnant going on only a calendar, rather than on their individual cycle. I prefer NFP because I don’t like artificial hormones, and I also like knowing my body.

  23. Thank you for sharing, your story has helped me, I just had a simular miscarriage, I missed my period and waited and when a couple of weeks passed I knew I was, I have been pregnant 5 other times and have 6 children, I knew when I was pregnant within the first month. I tested and yes I was. I am 45 though and knew there would be risks. I started cramping and had a back ache a couple of days ago and last night I had the first spotting. Today I am bleeding and clotting and have a little pain, the bleeding is worse then a period and non-stop, I could not identify anything though since I had to take a shower and the bleeding is so bad. Something inside me told me that this would happen though so I was almost prepared for it, it just didn’t feel right like the rest. I thought it may have been my age. My sister just had a baby at 40 and most of my family had children into their 40 almost 50, so I know that I am healthy enough. I am praying for you and all the woman out there who suffer from this, it is a lose no matter how small.
    Thank you again
    Barbara

  24. Thank you so much for posting this, the pictures especially! I’m so grateful that you were gutsy enough to post them. They are helpful. I just miscarried and I have been scouring the web for pictures that can help me make sense of what I saw and experienced. I’ve been quite unsuccessful in finding anything that is substantial in relating or comparing to it until your posting. Thanks so much, hopefully others will be uncovered so that information is shared and more people can be reached and helped in terms of wrapping our heads around it all.

  25. I just wanted to say thank you for posting your story and pictures. Your story is so similar to my own. Thanks.

  26. Thanks for sharing. I am 6weeks and 3 days pregnant and for ther last 4 days have been spotting and some slight cramping and have been so extremely worried that I am losing the baby. I don’t really know what to do other than wait it out and see what happens. I have been to the doctor and they did an ultrasound which showed a sac at 5 weeks but nothing in it yet. I have not passed any clots…i am just really scared

    • I’m sorry to hear this. As far as I know, there is nothing you can do at this early stage to prevent a miscarriage (unless the cause of the miscarriage is something like too little progesterone, in which case you could take some orally or vaginally; but it would require a prescription, and is not likely the cause of the miscarriage), so really the only thing to do is to wait. If the baby has already died or stopped developing, you will likely begin the miscarriage process very soon, within a week or two, but perhaps longer. You should probably discuss the ultrasound with the doctor, because it sounds to me as if you will be having a miscarriage; but if there is the possibility that the baby is still alive, then you should know that for sure.

  27. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and especially the photos.

  28. Hi Kathy, Thank god I have found some information which is helping me in my current situation….I am 34 and have a daughter nearly 14months old I still breastfeed. I am 5 weeks pregnant. My LMP was 9 Oct 2010. On the 6th Nov I did a pregnancy test and it came up positive and we were overjoyed. On the 8th Oct I consulted my doctor and went through the basic tests. That night I noticed some brownish discharge much like the end of a period but it was a small amount. I went to bed and the next day was releived that there was no bleeding. That night (9th Nov) I noticed the bleeding had reappeared but was now bright red and my heart sank and I was filled with dread. It wasnt heavy (light to medium flow) and I took it easy and hoped it would settle…and it did but started again at night time on the 10th Nov thats when I have had bright red period light to heavy flow but continuously and decided on the 11th Nov to see a doctor. He took the information down and said that there was nothing he could do but tell me that it may or may not be a miscarriage and I had to wait for a scan scheduled on the 22nd of Nov to see if the pregnancy is viable. So now its nearly midnight on the 12th of Nov and my bleeding hasnt stopped since the 10th and I have this feeling of dread that it will all end soon. Some other symptoms I have been having are headaches, majour bloating of my stomach and for the last several hours my back is aching. Otherwise I have no morning sickness, no peeing through the night and dont feel pregnant. There are so far no clots or any other matter occuring. Much like Morgan who replied….I am waiting to see how it plays out. I know it might be wrong to think this way but I have convinced myself that something has gone wrong and not to expect to have this baby….that way if my bleeding stops and I get to my scan date and see a heartbeat I will be pleasantly surprised and will take it day by day thereafter.
    Your story really touched my heart…and the stories of many women like yourself who now have the courage to share! I have spent many hours scouring various sights which dont give detailed explainations and are too vague or are too clinically descriptive as if written by a male doctor. I needed to hear a real life story…to know what can possibly happen or to expect…or how the body feels when it happens. I am no longer clueless. Although it is different for all at least I have the knowledge now to go on and deal with it.

    Thanks again for all the sharing and kindness you have shown to many, and stay tuned I shall post an update in the near future

    • Thank you for your sweet comment. I’m glad my blog post was helpful to you, and I hope everything will turn out okay.

      • Hi Kathy and Readers,

        Here is my update…..The bleeding continued and then I had some painful cramping for a few hours and found a blood clot about 3mm in size and then the bleeding slowed up and stopped over a day. I had an ultrasound on the 22nd (the bleeding had stopped for a few days prior) of November which confirmed that I was no longer pregnant. Another pregnancy test was done also that day and sadly only showed one line. The worst thing about it was the not knowing and waiting for like 10 days….. and the headaches and the sore belly which is a reminder of what I have lost!!!!!!!!!!!!! The doctor told me to keep trying just to go for it and so remembering and mourning the one I lost I will move forward and see what happens!

        Kathy did you go on to conceive again or have a child since your miscarriage? Hope all is well :)

        • No, I haven’t. However, the pregnancy that ended in miscarriage was unplanned, and I have been trying not to get pregnant. In some ways I have a slightly different perspective on pregnancy and miscarriage now — knowing by experience, and not just by other people’s experience that miscarriages happen — so there is a bit of hesitation to get pregnant again simply due to the possibility of miscarriage; but primarily it is the other factors in my life that have kept me from trying again.

          • A further update for those who would like to know……..I fell pregnant very quickly say within 2 months of my miscarriage story and am now due to have a baby girl on the 13th September 2011. I hope that it helps women to hear that your body can recover so quickly and you can achieve a healthy pregnancy so soon after a devastating miscarriage! Hugs to all ……… Lei xo

  29. Im 11 weeks pregnant today. And i started gettin pains in my stomach. I went to the toilet and i was bleeding, none was on my underwear just when i wiped with toilet roll. It stopped 2hrs later it started again. Just spotting. I phoned my midwife and ive to wait until tomorrow for an ultrascan i dont know how im going to sleep. I just hope everything will be okay. Reading your comments has helped me see the signs of miscarage and what to look for . Hope everything will be ok x

  30. Hi Kathy,

    I too would also like to thank you for posting this, I started bleeding on Wednesday at 7 weeks and last night (Saturday) “passed” everything whilst on the toilet. I’d had no medical advice on what to expect, and there is very little detail on websites and books other than “cramping and bleeding”… so when it all actually passed (about the size of a small chicken breast!) I was slightly scared and rather surprised! Whilst searching for photos/info on the internet today, I came across your site and although I am really sorry for your loss, I am kind of glad to know that everything seems completely normal – your graphic photos and descriptions were exactly what I had been looking for!

    I also had a weird feeling that I was going to miscarry, and couldnt imagine myself going full term on this pregnancy. It’s bizarre, and I’m sure people think I’m a little crazy, but again its good to know I’m not the only one who experienced it – our bodies are fascinating.

    Well done on posting all of this, I wish I had found/been given something like this when I’d first started bleeding, just to give me a better understanding of what was to come so I could better prepare myself!

    Thanks again, and I hope that you and your family are healthy and happy :o)

  31. Hi Kathy,

    Thanks for sharing your experience, the pictures are very helpful.
    Reading about your experience brings tears to my eyes as I recall the dreadful day in March 2010 when I had my misscarriage. My instincts told me that I was pregnant but I decided to brush that thought aside and wait for a month to pass before seeing a Doc. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage after 5 weeks.
    My concern is that I have irregular periods since then. The number of days have decreased, the amount of blood I release have decreased, the color have changed from dark red to brown and now black and I have cloths every period. It’s being 10 months now.
    Do you think something is wrong with me? I’d appreciate if anyone on this site can provide some advice as soon as possible

    Thank you kindly

    lee

  32. Thanks Kathy,

    Have decided to see a Doctor. I hope all goes well.
    I really appreciate your time and words of encouragement for fellow woman out in the world, you are blessed.

    Best Regards
    Lee:))

  33. Thanks for your story kathy… I didn’t know that I was pregnant and just a few hours ago I went to the bathroom and a sluggish looking thing came out of my vagina… I had no idea what it was and I was completely shocked and disgusted… I had never seen or heard of anything like it… So I decided to google it and I just found out through your post that I miscarried… My thingy looks exactly like your picture… So I’m truly in shock and scared right now… What should I do next? should I go to the ER? Should I rest?

    • Obviously, I can’t give medical advice, so this is just what I would do, which is what I did — that is, assume everything is normal until proven otherwise. You may want to get a pregnancy test to confirm that you are/were pregnant (assuming your hCG levels are still high enough to register), and that this *is* a miscarriage, rather than something else weird. You can certainly go to the ER or to a doctor’s office, and if you think you need to, or just don’t know if you should, then by all means, don’t let me stop you! [I tend to be non-interventionalist for myself and my family, but am not a medical professional, so may miss something by adopting a practice of "watchful waiting."] If you don’t go, at a bare minimum, certainly keep an eye on your bleeding; watch out for heavy bleeding, bleeding that lasts longer than about a week, passing grape-like clusters (possibly a sign of a rare type of pregnancy that can turn into cancer, but easily treated if caught early); if you feel sick, ill, light-headed, etc., or if there is any question, don’t hesitate to seek medical advice, because I’m certainly not an expert — just somebody who had one miscarriage. If you go to the doctor, they can do blood tests a few days apart to verify that your hCG levels are dropping. It’s possible in a miscarriage for there to be a piece of retained placenta or other tissue, so bleeding longer than about a week may be an indication of that, and you might then need a procedure or medication to remove that tissue.

  34. Thank you for sharing your story. I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive. A couple of weeks later I had the same symptoms that you described. I wasn’t sure what was going on and I didn’t go to the doctor. About 4-6 weeks in the symptoms started and I wasn’t sure what to look for in a miscarriage. I found that the pictures you took of your miscarriage (RIP) looked like what came out of me.

  35. Hi

    I read your post with great interest as I have miscarried this week.

    Mild spotting symptoms began over a week ago. I have been beside myself as I should have been, by LMP, 13 weeks pregnant. Ultrasound showed I was 8 weeks and hcg dropped. Miscarriage was inevitable.

    Unfortunately 1st March, early hours, I passed 20-30 golf ball sized clots. I’ve never seen so much blood. At 1030 I collapsed due to low blood pressure & spent the night in hospital.

    Bleeding is now like a period. All of a sudden I passed a dark prawn shaped sack? It was definitely different to a clot. It was like a squishy mass in a film.

    This was our first pregnancy and although it hasn’t worked out we are being positive. I go back to work on Monday surrounded by pregnant colleagues which may be upsetting. One is even due close to my baby’s due date which will kill me to see her pregnancy progress. I am happy for her though.

    Good luck to everyone. :-)

  36. Hi Kathy. I am so sorry for your loss. I am so glad I found your blog. I can relate to it & it helped a lot by reading it. I was lost and so confused. I started bleeding like a period on Thursday. Today the bleeding increased and have seen small blood clots and tissues. I’m going thru the same, exact thing as you. I thought a miscarriage would be more painful. But every women is different. This is the hardest thing ever! I hate to admit that I’m having a miscarriage. Some people tell me I’m in denial. I have gone to three different doctors and all have said I will have a miscarriage soon. I’m 8 weeks and they all said there is no heartbeat. The first u/s tech said she saw twins, then she did the transvaginal u/s and verified only one fetus w/ no heartbeat. That confused me. However, in some cases, sometimes it’s so hard to detect a heartbeat that early…so maybe if I wait a few more weeks a heartbeat will be detected it. My husband said to just try & accept it…b/c I’m just emotinally & mentally hurting myself more by going to different doctors and them telling me the same thing. I have an appt with my OBGYN on Tues.

  37. Hi. I’ve only found your blog and Im so glad that someone has found the strength to share their story in so much detail to help others. Reading from first hand experience, in my opinion, is more informative that all the medical articles that are out there. I already knew I had miscarried but the element of doubt was always there, but after reading your story I know now that it was definitely a miscarriage I went through. I recently set up my own blog about my miscarriage experience to help others going through a similar ordeal. Would it be ok if I add your blog as a link on it?

    http://mymiscarriageexperience.wordpress.com

  38. I’m so glad I found this blog too. Thank you so much , everyone really, for sharing your stories. I found this because I had to have a D&C after miscarriage and after 4 months (not sexually active, not pregnant) I had cramps and passed what looks like the picture you posted. Since the D&C I’ve felt the same pregnancy symptoms, have hot flashes, nausea, weight gain all of it….but my cycle has been regular. I went to the doctor today and told him about this lump I just passed and he didn’t want to see a photo, he promises it was a “blood clot” and he says I just need birth control pills. When I asked him why I’m so tired, having hot flashes and vomiting all the time he says that I am only imagining that I ever felt otherwise. (I was completely normal a year ago). This is the 3rd doctor I’ve been to and no one will help me. The miscarriage is really sad, but its even worse that I physically am too sick to move on. I’m really curious if what you posted in the photo was ever identified? Is it possible that after my D&C I still have lumps of endometrial or scar tissue like this photo that would cause my hormonal symptoms? My Dr. says “there is no science to support that my symptoms have anything to do with the pregnancy or D&C”. Thank you in advance for any guidance or suggestions.

    • Shelley, I’m so sorry for your experience!

      If there were tissue from the pregnancy still in your uterus, you would still be bleeding constantly, instead of having a cycle (if you still have pregnancy tissue, your body thinks you’re still pregnant, so sends lots of blood to grow the baby).

      You need to talk to someone who will listen. Just because what you’re experiencing is “outside the range of normal” does NOT mean that you’re “not experiencing it, but only imagining it”! If you can’t find an OB/GYN that will take you seriously, then perhaps you can expand your search to include midwives, nurse practitioners, or naturopathic/homeopathic practitioners. Something isn’t right, and telling you that just because it’s not associated with the D&C that therefore it isn’t happening to you, is not helpful!

      I can’t speak specifically about whether or not the D&C had anything to do with your continuing symptoms; it sounds to me like there is something wrong hormonally, whether or not it is the problem of the D&C. If this were my situation, I’d go somewhere to get full blood-work done, testing for things like hormone levels and also iron levels (I always think “low iron” when people complain about being tired). While ordinarily, I would think that it would be best to tell the doctor exactly what you’re experiencing, and what you think is the cause of it, it sounds like they’re not listening to you, so perhaps you can go with all questions and no answers — just say that you had a miscarriage (don’t blame the D&C for anything), but since that time, that you’ve felt pregnant symptoms even though you’re not sexually active so can’t be pregnant, so you don’t know what’s going on but something not right, and you need answers.

      No, I never had anybody identify what was in the picture; I simply don’t know whether something like that would cause problems (though I could imagine it would be able to). What your doctor said about “no science to support” your symptoms being caused by the pregnancy or D&C made me think of this recent post by Dr. Nicholas Fogelson. In part, he says:

      I’ve tried to be completely evidence based at certain points, but always eventually run into a situation where the evidence just doesn’t seem to fit. At that point I’ve been faced with the choice – go with what the data says is right, or go what seems correct in the specific case. I think the latter is often the more correct path. Given the way that statistical mathematics eliminates outlying datapoints, one would expect that there would be individual clinical situations that do not follow the data. Understanding this, it behooves one to try to see those situations where the data isn’t going to fit, and when ones anecdotal experience might better direct one’s course. Sometimes these deviations are heralded by an alarm bell in one’s mind that seems to scream “SOMETHING IS DIFFERENT”. I think one has to listen to such alarms.

      Perhaps your case is one of those “individual clinical situations that do not follow the data”; I think you need to find someone who views this difference not with the reaction of “therefore it can’t be,” but “maybe it’s a unique case, and needs different treatment.”

  39. I’m really glad I found this. I had no idea that I was/could have been pregnant (I am on the pill) but last night I passed a clot which looked VERY similar to your picture. I thought I was just on my normal period but apparently not. I feel absolutely fine, probably because a) I wasn’t trying to have a baby and b) never had the ‘I’m pregnant’ feeling. I’m not sure, however, if I need to go to the doctor. I assume that it’s a natural thing which shouldn’t cause me any problems. Any suggestions would be great though.

    • I never went to the doctor and I’m fine; I consider miscarriages to be like most other normal processes: most of the time, nature takes care of it just fine without intervention. Still, it might be a good idea to call your gyne and see what she says – it’s possible that there is something going on that I wouldn’t know about.

  40. Hey Kathy…I just stumbled upon your blog today when I was looking for images of early pregnancy miscarriage. Thank you so much for sharing your story and your pictures. In a way it kind of helped me find closure with the situation.

    I found out about a month ago that I was pregnant with my second child. As with my first, I got pregnant my first month off birth control. I had my first u/s and doctor’s appointment and was dated at 5w6d and saw the hb at 112bpm. The next day I started bleeding. It started off brownish and gradually became pink and then red. I went back to the doctor two days later for them to check things out because I thought I was having a miscarriage. The u/s showed the baby still there, hb still going a little stronger than two days before. My first pregnancy taught me that I am very prone to bleeding, so after my second exam (which was more aggressive) I started bleeding more….enough to need a pad. But I was not worried, because I knew he had to be thorough with his exam to make sure everything looked okay.

    I continued to bleed. This Saturday, I was going to the bathroom and heard something “plop” into the toilet. I looked and fished out what was undoubtedly my sac and little baby. It was very small (I was only about 6.5 weeks), about the size of a roma tomatoe. But it looked very similar to your pictures. I will go back to the doctor in a couple of days to verify and make sure nothing else needs to be done. Like you, I had no cramping, no “this is it” moment. I’m still bleeding, two days later, but it comes and goes.

    Thank you again for your candid information and your pictures. It really helps to read about someone elses experience who has been through something very, very similar.
    Katie

  41. Thanks for sharing, you are amazing. I was told that I could not have children due to poly-cystic ovaries, so when my last period went crazy I didn’t think anything of it. That was until I passed something that looked like a smaller version of the pics you posted. I spotted on/off for a week and a half with small clots before my period started. The first day was so intense with pain that I had to take 2 and 1/2 Vicodins for the pain, the next day I passed a small lump of tissue. My period finished within a few days, but I had a weird feeling that something was not right. I am going to go to the Dr and get checked out. Basically, the pics you posted and your story has made me realize that I may have had a miscarriage.

  42. this is strange because i the same thing come out of me too, however im still a virgin and havent had any semen (such a gross word D:) pass through me because im only 15… i dont think what i had was a miscarriage, but if it was then i dont even know how or why. what do you think about it?

    • Honestly, I have no idea. Check with a doctor because it doesn’t sound normal to me. [And if you find something out, please come back and let me know because it completely baffles me, and I'd like to know more about it.] The only possibility I could come up with is that if you have had some form of sexual relations with a male even without penetration, it is possible though **extremely** unlikely for sperm to be transferred from him to you and for you to get pregnant that way. It’s theoretically possible, and it may have even happened in recorded history, but it’s extremely unlikely. Perhaps you have some sort of cysts or fibroids or something. [In my case, I know it was a miscarriage because I had a positive pregnancy test. If I knew I couldn't be pregnant due to lack of sexual relations, I would be extremely concerned about what was going on, because it's so outside the range of normal.]

      • im really nervous to go to the doctor’s alone so i might have to rely on a school nurse or something, because my mom wouldn’t bring me and i can’t drive yet. me and my boyfriend have done stuff, but my down there hasnt ever touched his semen. i asked my friend and she said it was probably just a normal thing, so i tried to ignore it until i found this webpage, and if it really was a baby, i didnt even think twice before i flushed it down the toilet, so i have no idea what’s going on. when i get the courage to ask somebody, i’ll get back to you.

  43. Hey girls, I jsut went through the same thing and founf out lastnight i was infact pregnant and miscarried. I Didnt get my priod for about 40 days and i was having symptoms but never thought anything of it cause i have PCOS and doctors told me i wouldnt conceive. 42is days later i started bleeding bad and on the 2nd day of bleeding a passed this Clot like thing and it was about 3-4mm. I continued to bleed for 3 days heavily. It stopped then i started spotting for 3 days then got it heavy again and was in so much pain ( pain continued the whole time BAD!!) Went into the hospital and found out i did misscarry and i was around 4-5 weeks pregnant. I’m 19 and very sad. Rip my little sweet pea.

  44. I just had a miscarriage last night. I was almost 9 weeks. It’s the hardest thing to go through. I did everything right and I don’t know what went wrong. I was spotting and the doctor said everything was fine and then, I find out I lost my baby. I still aint over it. It’s really hard to think about but I gotta get through this. I’m scared to have another child in the future. I know that I shouldn’t worry so much. I even blame myself which I know it’s not my fault. It’s just that thought/feeling. I was just so happy…

    • Liz, I’m so so sorry. My first miscarriage was at 11 weeks, but baby died at 9 weeks 3 days. This is a very difficult thing to go through. My miscarriages have been the biggest trial of my life. Don’t feel like you have to get “over” it (whatever that means) quickly. You have every right to mourn. I also hear you about being scared to get pregnant again. Once I experienced a loss, I feel as if I will never experience the bliss of pregnancy like I did with my son. Hang in there. Know that you aren’t alone. Time does heal somewhat, but I am still dealing with some of the sadness of it all. Hugs and prayers sent your way.

      • Thank you Bri. I’m scared to even think about having another child but, I know I’ll have one in the future. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. It’a a tough thing but, in the end everything will be fine.

  45. JUST YESTERDAY I HAD A MISCARRIAGE AND I WAZ REALLY HEARTBROKEN AND SAD.I REALLY DIDNT KNOW WHAT 2 DO OR SAY I JUST CRIED.WHEN I TLD MI BF I THANK HE TOOK IT HARD BUT WE STILL GOIN ON STRONG

  46. I am currently going through a miscarraige myself. If I could say anything.. the wait itself is the most terrible thing I have ever experienced. I got an ultrasound a week ago and saw the heartbeat.. but when I started bleeding I went back to the doctor and they said the heart stopped beating. I just wanted to thankyou for writing this post. this is my first pregnancy.. and I honestly dont have any clue what im in for. The pictures helped a lot… because, like you, I have been waiting for something to pass and havent found anything that I would believe to be a baby. Thankyou again for the information… it honestly helped a lot.

  47. This article was extremely helpful, thank you! I believe I just had a miscarriage, and although my urine test came out negative just yesterday, a woman “knows” her body, and I’m almost positive this just happened to me. The photos confirmed my suspicion as I passed something very similar. I had no idea I was indeed pregnant, but I can’t help but feel sad :/ c’est la vie, I suppose. Thank you for this very informative article.

  48. thank you for the pics. i did not even know I was pregnant until after some sort of bleeding for two weeks I got severe back pains & cramps. Then something like whats in you picture came out of me. Both my husband & I was shocked. Not knowing that I was pregnant made it a bit easier, but still it’s a loss.

  49. first of all, I’d like to thank you for posting your story and pics, I just passed my miscarriage last night. I’m soo sorry for your loss, but the confirmation of what I went through was a good healing step for me. I’m a big woman so it’s easy for me to miscarry, though I’d have liked to wait a year to have kids, It was still a devastating loss.

  50. Hi kathy thank you for sharing your story. I was told yesterday that they could not find a heart beat, I was 11 weeks but they think judging by the size it happened around 8 weeks. My body still hasn’t rejected it yet. I am completley terrified of what is going to happen and when its going to happen. I don’t want to have the surgery but at the same time I don’t know how I will cope having a miscarriage. I was glad I came across your story as trying to find someone who describes miscarriage in depth is so hard. X

  51. thanks you for sharing. this is the second time this has happened to me and since i dont talk about it its comforting to know that someone was able to so others could seek information. thank you really thank you. i hope all is well.

  52. Hi..thanks for sharing this story. I had my miscarriage at 11 weeks and 1 day last week. It’s hard for me to get through this lost but doctor said that i can conceive after 3 months or 2 cycle of period for safe pregnancy. Today ( 10 days after m/c) i still had my tiny bit of spotting. I hope that i can get my normal cycle period later. :)

  53. I remember my first miscarriage of May of this year I was spotting alot. Then I had a huge flow of blood. That was a threatened miscarriage. They released me out of hospital, a month later had heavy flow again they found no heart beat at all. I decided to have it natural instead of D&C. So I had lots cramping(painful) like contractionsI never been pregnant before was first, but asked around and yes it basically the same as contractions). Went back to hospital they seen clots told me to go home and I should pass the sac any day. The next day I passed the sac and it was the size of a large grapefruit. There was no pain passing it but as soon I passed the sac there was lots of blood and huge clots. The bleeding lasted for about 2 weeks. i never got a ultrasound or a hcg level check. Second pregnancy I never showed any signs of blood at all I had alot of discharge though. Well I did have another threatend miscarriage on the second miscarriage. Everything on ultrasound was normal. I still didn’t show no signs of spotting after that. One day a week before my so called 12 week ultrasound I was having pain with no bleeding. I checked in to the ER they said thats normal but if show signs of bleeding like a period than I should be worried. They didn’t do a ultrasound that day so I was very worried that the same thing was going happen like the first pregnancy. And sure enough it was the same. Found out on appt. on my 12 week that my little one stopped growing and there was no hearbeat I still showed 8 weeks and 5 days.The baby was the same size the last time I seen its actual heartbeat from the threatened miscarriage situation. I had a D&C the next week(D&C isn’t so bad as thought it would be they put me to sleep and everything went well of course the doctor explained the risk before I had the D&C).

    I found out a person can still have a miscarriage no matter if they bleed or not if your concerned or worried whild pregnant and have a feeling about something isnt’t going well then always get a second opinion..

  54. Thanks so much for telling us about ur experience! When I read this it sounded exactly like what I was going threw. The pics also help! Thanks so much:)

  55. What you described there, ‘knowing’ that you were going to miscarry, I had exactly the same. The weird feeling of being pregnant on the outside to other people but knowing inside yourself that at some point you’re going to start bleeding despite an apparently healthy pregnancy. We even had a scan at 7w3d that showed growth at 6w2d but with a definite and strong heartbeat. I thought I must have been wrong to intuit that I was not going to term with this baby. I went on to miscarry at 11 weeks after the baby had died at 8 weeks according to the measurements. Thanks for your post it has reassured me that I’m not mental!

  56. I found out I was pregnant nov 16 11… Well I started hurtin nov20 when I use the bathroom n wiped there was a pinkish color to it… The next day I went to the doc wasnt hurtin or wippin pinkish anymore.. They did n exam n when I got home n used the restroom I wiped bleed but it wasnt enough to use a pad so I had to go bck to the doc they gave me meds n told me if they didnt work I was in the middle of an misscarriage… Well it was almost an hr after I got home use the meds n started bleedin n hurtin so bad I didnt kno wht to do so I was like im goin to sleep when I wake up everything well be okay… Two hrs later my lil girl woke me up I was hurtin like I was about to have the bby…. I went to the bathroom n felt something big come out n when it hit the water it sounded like a pennie came out.. I looked n nasty as sound but pucked it up but it jus looked like a blood clot I called my doc they told me to go to rmc so I did…. They did test told me it showed I was still pregnant but can show for a wk after u lose the bby n if I stop bleedin I was okay but if I was still bleedin like a period I lost the bby…. Well I went to the doc this mornin n was told I lost my bby….. My heart dropped but I was only 5wks n 4 days… N losein a bby dont feel good it hurt like I was havin my bby without meds n bleedin like crazy more than a period… Now I dont kno wht to feel or how to feel.. I have two kids but I wanted my other one as well n the thing tha hurt me was I didnt kno that was my bby I flushed man that hurts knowin it was okay n the next min it was gone……

  57. I just wanted to say a huge thank you for sharing this. When I was pregnant I had a huge, debilitating fear of miscarriage, and a big part of that was not knowing what to expect if it happened. I was terrified of that I’d see. I searched the internet for stories like this but couldn’t find anything (this was in 2004). I think this post will help a lot of women in a similar situation.

  58. Thank you very much for sharing. I suspect that I may have had a very early “chemical pregnancy” although I will never know for sure. I may bury the “mass” (much small than the pictures you showed, but larger than my typical clots). I thought doing so would be crazy, so thankyou for showing that I wouldn’t be alone in doing so.

  59. Thank you for this story and the picture. I recently had the same issue and was scared and started looking for a explanation. I found ur story. So thanks.

  60. I’ve just miscarried today. I was searching Google for pics of a sac to show a fellow pregnant lady what it was like, and came across your page. I started spotting on Thursday morning last week, spotted the same for Thur-Fri-Sat, then Sunday (yesterday) morning I woke up and was bleeding, not as heavy as my period, but it was red/brown. I intended to go to hospital or at least see a midwife today (Monday) So left it. I rang the hospital this morning (Monday morning) and got an appointment for tomorrow morning (Tuesday Morning) to go to the Early Pregnancy Assessment Clinic at the hospital for a scan and check up to see if I was miscarrying or not. I’ve been on bedrest all day. About 3pm today, I started getting pains down below, like period or early labour pains, so my OH cooked dinner for me and our kids to let me rest, and then I went downstairs to eat it. After I’d eaten, I moved position on the sofa as I was uncomfortable (with the pains) to find I’d leaked a LOAD of blood through my sanitary towel, knickers and leggings! I went upstairs to change and whilst on the toilet, passed a clot. I checked it and it was just a large clot. Whilst I was explaining to me OH what it was like, I passed something much larger. When I stood up, there was a HUGE clot on top of the toilet roll in the bowl of the toilet, which I was able to pick up to discover it was the sac and placenta/embryo tissue. I can’t see a foetus in the sac or anywhere in this huge lump of stuff, but then again I don’t know what to look for this early on. I would’ve been 7wks and 3 days today from my LMP on 1th December 2011. I got a “Smiley” face on Clearblue Digital OPK on the 3rd January 2012 – making me approx 4wks and 5-6 days past ovulation. I called the hospital straight away – after placing the sac/clot into a specimen pot – who told me IF I feel unwell or start bleeding HEAVILY, then I should go straight to A&E, if not, and I feel ok and well, then stay at home and just attend the appointment otmorrow morning as arranged. I know they’re going to tell me I’ve miscarried, I’m hoping everything has/will clear itself out as I really don’t want a D&C, due to the chanes of them causing problems or affecting future fertility. This would’ve been my 5th pregnancy/baby I have had 4 straightforward healthy pregnancies and deliveries without trouble up until now! I DID have a Chemical pregnancy last month, but this month was DEFINITELY a miscarriage! Thank you for the pics – it’s helped me to realise that what I “passed” was normal. xx

  61. Wow i Just experienced this hours ago i was 11 wks and i contracted All night fri and saturday i passed clots but today was different wish i could post my pic

  62. I took a test on wednesday 15th feb 2012 negative .. My mum was harrising me for weeks to get checked out as i had my coil falling out around 2-3months before.. So on friday 17th feb i took my self the may logan drop in centre just to make sure there was no coil left an no infection of it.. The doctor gave me a scan and a pregnacy test positive nothing was seen on scan as i predicted could only have been a week pregnant tops! .. The found fluid and a mass on the scan an told me to go to the womens hospital for a more accurate scans, bloods as she suspected ectopic pregnacy.. The hospital was expecting me.. As i got the i got seen within haalf an hour got. Examined they could not take a scan on this day as it was to late so i was kept in.. Had another scan on the saturday still suspected ectopic pregnacy but they cudnt see anything i asked over and over again could this just be a very early pregnacy i was told no this has got to be ectopic your bloods arnt increasing enough for it to be a healthy pregnancy on sunday 19th i was discharged with an appointment on tuedsay the 21st to have more hcg levels they still wernt increasing enough i was told i have to options .. Option 1: methotrexate injection this will abort the pregnacy in your tubes but you may have to have a 2nd dosage option 2 : surgery to remove the ectopic An may have to remove my tube i chose this option as the sed if they couldnt see anything they would just leave me be for a week an go from there this option just seemed the right one to choose as i did not belive it was ectopic i just thort i was to early to be able to tell.. On 22nd feb 2012 i went down to surgery im only 20 and i was so frightned it was unreal.. I woke up 3hours later and no1 could tell me what had happend during the surgery i had to wait till the next day so all night worrying did they find anything have i lost a tube ?? Am i still pregnant ?? The next day the doctor came to see me.. We did not find anything in ur tubes so we just closed up.. The day after a nurse gave me methotrexate leaflet the doctor will be up to talk to you about thos injection right down any questions you may have.. So thats what i did why crnt a wait a week an have a scan then ?? An we could go from ther ?? This was my main questions i had about 15 other but i just wanted this 1 answering .. I asked my questions an the doctor answered them all megative you crnt wait ur at risk .. But iv just had surgery nothing was found how could i still be at risk.. If it rupires ur life is in danger every question i asked i got a negative answer back so unhappily signed for the methotrexate injection i had that on the 24th feb 2012 just 48h after surgery i was then discharged an had to go back 4 days later an 7 days later then every 7 days therafter untill negative tests.. On day 4 i went back for my bloods they had shot up.. The nurse quoted iv never seen it go up so high.. I demanded a scan i was refused!! On day 5 i recieved a phn call of a doctor saying they had a meeting last night over my case and they want to scan me on day 6 so i went back up the hospital on day 6 it was then i found out the pregnacy was all along in my womb !!! Very angry at this point after a 4and half hour wait i seen another doctor who sencerly opoligised i didnt say much i left my mum an mum in law to do the talking i had to go bk on day 7 for more bloods they had went down at this point all i could think about was you have killed my baby!!! I was told to go bk on day 14 i sed i want weekly scans they sed you are goin to misscarry anyway you have had methotrexate i got my scan they done my bloods then aswell they had gone up and the pregnacy had expanded it was still allive didnt no what to think at this point!! Then just 3days ago i started bleeding praying it wasnt a misscarriage i love the baby inside me its been threw enough already so off i went back to the hospital to ask if i was misscarrying i had 3spots in the morning and in the afternoon i had a mucasy stingy type when i wiped.. They told me it was a threatend misscariage i was so happy my little flump was still hanging on proud mum already!! Then yesterday bleeding got slightly heavier and today its like real period and rather thick when i wipe but haRdly anything on the pad.. A few small clots aswell I dnt get pains jst like uncomferable and feeling really delicate im around 5weeks pregant this week .. Just want to shar my story as i crnt find nothing on the internet about what iv been through.. I have a 2year old little girl who is my world she as been passed from pillow to post i seem to spend more time in the hospital than anywer else .. If any 1 no’s any1 who has been threw this please ask them to write to me.. Im so sorry for every1 who has misscarried i really hope this is still a threAtend misscarriage but im douting it.. Need to speak to some1 who has been threw it it would bring me some closure thank you for reading. X

    • HI Claire, my heart goes out to you my love – Ive just read your story and am uterly appaled at the treatment that you recieved and although Ive not had an ectoptic pregnancy, I have just miscarried and I know how you feel with the doctors not telling you anything or giving you the support that you needed at the time. I can see that you story was posted back in the spring…. what happened in the end? Did your little one survive?x

  63. Hi, im 27 years old. And i didn’t had any experience with pregnancy, but lately i just got married and trying to bear a child. My period is irregular, and this month i missed my period for about 10 days. But i didn’t took any pregnancy test because i was thinking its still early to test. Every afternoon i will do my exercise like running and walking in the oval. On the 11th day, i started to have some mild cramp, and the next day i feel like i have my period. So in the morning i had a small brownish bleeding, but its just few. So i just wear a panty liner. The next day, it become a little bit thicker, and the 3rd day some blood already noticeable and i felt like something passing, so i check it and its looks like a blood that is in circular form with some kind of a little tail or something, and i tried to squeeze it and it feels like something inside like a water. I tried to break it, like separate it half and i saw something like a mucus or a circular clear gel and there’s in the middle there’s a black dot. I have no idea what it was. Do you think it is a miscarriage?

  64. Thank you so much for sharing your story and pictures, without which I would have dismissed the large lump of tissue I passed in the wee hours of this morning (in New Zealand) as a blood clot. I gave birth to our first child seven months ago and thought the bleeding and cramping that I had been experiencing over the past few days were the beginnings of getting my first period post-baby. In the last 12 hours the bleeding and cramping increased significantly until I passed a large lump of tissue earlier. After seeing your pictures I’m fairly certain I have experienced a miscarriage. The cramps and bleeding have now significantly subsided since the tissue passed. I was fortunate enough to feel and see the tissue passing so that I could retrieve it and will be taking it with me to the doctor this morning. Again, thank you very much.

  65. How fast did this happen? Like a month later u had the miscariage or was it a few weeks?

    • I was technically 8 weeks pregnant (dating from the last menstrual period; 6 weeks post-conception), but I think the baby stopped growing before, based on other pictures I’ve seen and descriptions I’ve read of miscarriages at that stage.

  66. Thanks very much for posting this. I had my second miscarriage (both at 5-6 weeks) about a month ago while abroad at a friend’s wedding. While my first was just like a period (not particularly heavy at that), I passed tissue very much like that in your picture. Due to the circumstances, I couldn’t keep the tissue for testing, but I remained confused about what I’d seen – I knew it was the pregnancy but it seemed to be much the same shape as the drawings of embryos but much, much bigger than it should have been. I’ve been surprised how little information there is, as you say, about what miscarriages actually look and feel like physically on official medical sites and think it’s a real shame that most of the information I’d want to know to understand what’s happened / what’s normal / what’s not I’ve had to learn from other women on internet forums. Your picture is the first thing I’ve seen that helps to reassure me that what I saw was normal for my stage of gestation, so thank you very much for sharing it and your sorry. Though long ago now, sorry for your loss. Best wishes.

  67. Kathy,
    I completely know and understand what you went through. I was 7 weeks when i had a miscarriage beautiful heartbeat I heard once. But he or she I know is in Heaven with The Lord.
    I know what you are going through you are not alone. Your in my prayers sis

  68. I am so very sorry for your precious loss. My heart goes out to you.

    I unfortunately had two miscarriages in a year’s time. I thought I would post my experience on here, too, in case someone is looking for what to expect.

    My first miscarriage was the most remarkable. I was 7 weeks when I found out my baby had no heartbeat – I had what’s called a “missed miscarriage” in that my body did not know the baby had passed, therefore, my placenta continued to grow, as well as the symptoms. I also decided to miscarry naturally because the thought of my baby coming out any other way was just not for me.

    It took a little over two weeks before I finally began getting cramps at around midnight. The cramps increased in intensity to the point where it did “resemble” giving birth but not quite. I hardly had any bleeding at all. I walked and paced to try and get things moving along, and eventually the pain got so intense that I got in the shower and put the shower head directly on my abdomen – I got quite a bit of relief that way. I still did not have much bleeding. After some time, I felt something very small fall out of me and hit the floor. I then felt something much, much larger slipping out and I caught that with my hand. To this day (over three years, another baby, and currently pregnant later), I still cannot believe what I was holding in my hands.

    I will describe it as best I can: The tiny thing that fell out of me was my baby. She (just a gut feeling it was a girl, could be wrong, of course) was flesh colored, curled up tight, but was not soft or gelatinous…she was more firm and spongy’ish. So hard to put into words. I did attempt to uncurl her to see if I could see finger buds, but I didn’t feel right manipulating her too much so I stopped. You could tell, though, which end was the head and which was the tail. If you curl up your pinky finger, that’s what she reminded of.

    As for the big thing that came out of me, I was so amazed as I looked at a grey looking placenta (kind of wavy around the edges) with a completely INTACT sac half filled with amniotic fluid! I mean it was a perfectly shaped sac still “inflated” and had fluid! I have never been so in awe in my entire life. The placenta measured from the tip of my fingers to a little past my wrist and the sac was a bit bigger than a golf ball. It was so surreal.

    Unfortunately, I was not able to take pics (which I so regret now) because I became so very sick, pale, and was about to pass out. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was using straight hot water on my abdomen for quite a long time….that caused my blood pressure to drop severely. By the time I got to the hospital, I was beginning to feel a bit better, but my BP was 40/30. They slapped an EKG on me first thing, then sent me for a transvaginal ultrasound to confirm that everything came out.

    By the end of it, I decided to leave the baby/placenta at the hospital in hopes they could tell me what went wrong. More regret. I was just so out of it by the end of the miscarriage and hospital visit that I didn’t realize my baby was going to be torn apart during pathology, which broke my heart – I didn’t want that :(

    I later picked up a one page report stating something about the placenta. My doctor didn’t even know what it meant, but we both assumed there must have been something wrong with the placenta. I really wish I had brought my baby home to have a burial with my husband and other kids instead of leaving her there to be picked and prodded – I don’t know what I was thinking.

    At any rate, after a second miscarriage eight months later, which was nothing like the first, just four large clots, my doctor did blood work and found that I have a protein C deficiency. I don’t think that was the cause, but nonetheless I am now on blood thinners when pregnant and for six weeks postpartum (daily injections…oweee!). I have successfully carried one baby and am currently 31 weeks with baby #5 (and last baby!) ;)

    Again, I am so sorry for your loss. :(

  69. Kathy- I am sorry for your loss, my miscarriage experience was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever been through. I want to thank you for creating this page and giving me a chance to post my miscarriage story, I am hoping that sharing my experience provides some emotional relief.

    I found out I was pregnant on June 26th, after seeing the positive result on the pregnancy test I immediately made an appointment with the Dr. to confirm the pregnancy as I was having brown spotting. Got into the Dr.s the next day and they confirmed I was in fact pregnant and that the brown spotting was nothing to worry about as brown blood usually means old blood and that it was most likely due to the egg implanting. They did a trans vaginal ultrasound that day and told me I was about 4 weeks along, on the ultrasound all you could see was the sac. Leaving the Dr.s office I was thrilled, scared, and relieved that the bleeding was nothing to be concerned about. Between June 26th and August 7th I had three more appointments, with an ultrasound done on July 18th showing the baby`s heartbeat was strong at 158 bpm, hearing the heartbeat I got tears in my eyes and was overcome with joy, it was the first sign of the living breathing angel inside of me. We left that day with pictures and of course showed everyone we knew the pictures of my baby which my sisters lovingly named my bean. August 7th I went in for a routine check up and everything was normal. Then the night of August 10th I started spotting again, dark brown blood so I wasn`t too concerned and went about the night normally. Saturday I woke up and the spotting was gone but back by mid day. and Saturday night the cramps started, light but noticeable. Sunday I woke up to light bleeding and slightly worse cramping, so I took it easy on Sunday and first thing Monday morning I called my Dr. and She told me to rest and if it got any heavier to give her a call. Tuesday morning I was having terrible cramps and bleeding like a light period. I called the Dr. and they had me come in 2 hours later. When I got there they took me into the examining room and she checked to see if my cervix was dilated and said it was normal and that that was a good sign, she also said she could see no blood oozing from the cervix, but to be safe she wanted to do an ultrasound. We Got moved to the ultrasound room and as soon as the tech found the baby I knew something was wrong as I could no longer see the heart beating. I panicked and felt sick and she told me to hold my breath so she could listen for the heartbeat. She did that twice and confirmed that the baby had passed. My boyfriend and I immediately lost it, she left and gave us a moment. When I gathered myself she came back led me back to the examination room where the Dr. talked me through a natural miscarriage and passing the baby at home. She explained the process and apologized for my loss and then we went home. My emotional state all day was a complete wreck and hearing the words “everything happens for a reason, this is natures way of taking care of something that is wrong” did not help one bit. There was no physical pain besides some slight cramping until I was jarred out of a dead sleep at around 1 am with the most horrible stomach pain I have ever experienced in my life. I got up and walked straight to the bathroom and passed small blood clots and there was heavy bleeding. Between 1:15 and 3:30 a.m. I was having the most painful contractions that were taking my breath away, they started at 3-4 minutes apart and gradually got closer together (about 30 seconds- 45 seconds apart) with heavy bleeding and golf ball sized blood clots being passed. At around 3:35 a.m. I felt a huge gush of water come out, I rushed to the bathroom and sat down the “cramping” at this point was unbearable and making me light headed finally my body naturally “pushed” and I felt another gush and immediate relief from the cramps followed, I stood up and looked into the toilet and I had passed my baby. No blood clot, no uterus, no blood, just my baby laying there in the toilet I fell to my knees and started weeping, my whole body started to shake and then another cramp in my stomach came. I walked to the bedroom to get my boyfriend out of bed and as soon as I seen him I couldn`t speak I just fell into his arms and sobbed harder than I ever have in my whole life. I grabbed his hand, led him to the bathroom and he looked in the toilet and began to cry, seeing the baby again sent me into complete panic mode as this time I could see his hands, feet, eyes, and umbilical cord. I sat there next to the toilet for what seemed like half an hour with thoughts just flooding my mind. Do I pick the baby up? Can this really be my baby just laying in this toilet with no blood, no placenta, nothing at all? Why me? and everything else imaginable. Finally I stood up, closed the lid, and flushed it. I decided against touching the baby at all because emotionally I couldn`t have handled it. From 3:40 to 6 am I basically spent that whole time in the bathroom passing baseball sized blood clots and having contractions every 1-3 minutes. At around 6:15 I finally fell asleep as the contractions let up. Wednesday was an emotionally trying day but physically there was a dull constant pain in my stomach and occasionally I was just having slight cramping like you do during menstruation, with constant heavy bleeding and the most awful smell. Those same symptoms have been consistent for the past 5 days since that night, today the cramping got very bad again and I walked into the bathroom sat down and felt what seemed to be a huge blood clot come out, I stood up and looked into the toilet and there was the placenta. Since I have passed that about 3 hours ago to now I`ve had inconsistent cramping, with a consistent feeling of nausea. Hoping this lets up soon and that I am at the end of this horrific experience.

    This was one of the most heartbreaking things to happen to me and I know that many other women out there who have gone through it would agree. I hope my story helps women who are/will go through this to know a little bit of whats to come, and although there is no preparing for it, take solace in the fact that you are not alone. My prayers go out to anyone who has gone through this or is going through it right now. Thank you for taking the time to read my experience Good luck to all of you, my prayers and thoughts are with you.

  70. Thanks so much for being brave and scientifically-minded enough to post this! I was doing a random google search in hopes of finding out what happened to me just now…same exact thing, but I have another reason I need to know. My fiance isn’t supposed to be able to make babies! So…good to know! Wow. I don’t have insurance so I probably would have just wondered about it, if it weren’t for your story. People like you make the internet worthwhile. x )

  71. Thank you so much for posting this, I just had this happen to me even though Im on birth control and my guy is infertile! well he’s 99% anyway. Im pretty disturbed that it happened to me but glad to know the answer. I just had one and I was only 4 weeks along so the baby was half a finger size:( So sorry for your loss.

  72. I am so sorry for your loss! I personally know how hard it is to write this and share as I am sitting in my hospital bed writing this. This is my story http://anaussiemumsdiary.com/2012/10/a-miscarriage-loss-my-story/ the only way I’m coping is by sharing.

  73. I am currently going through a miscarriage, although it feels and looks more like a period and have been waiting for the horrific bleeding and pain that everyone has been telling me about. Day 6 since I started bleeding and I haven’t passed anything other than very small clots. According to the scan I had they could see an empty sac measuring 7wks 6days but I should be 12wks, they can’t confirm miscarriage until I have a second scan after a wk to measure sac again. It’s obvious it’s a blighted ovum even though I have to wait for the confirmation, but I was beginning to get false hope thinking because I still haven’t passed anything that resembles a sac or foetus that maybe it’s a threatened miscarriage and that somehow everything will be ok. After reading you story, it’s put me straight again and I can start preparing myself for the end.

    Thank you for sharing your story I hope you’ve had your happy ending since writing this. All the best Simone.

  74. THANK YOU ALL so so much for sharing your stories on here. And thank you for being so open and honest and supportive of one another. Im currently having a miscarraige and I passed a large lump yesterday which appeared to be the sac (with I presume the baby in it) after only passing very small stretchy lumps that appeared to be uterus lining like those that you sometimes get on a very heavy period – it was, about the size of a small egg but a bit longer and thinner, I was only about 7 weeks gone and having already had 3 children, I know from experience in terms of pain level etc that the cramps I had the night before was a sort of a labour and immediately after I had passed the large lump, it fealt like you do after you have delivered a baby, your body feels a huge weight lifted, you can suddenly stand up straight again and the pain is gone.

    The lump dropping out happened when I was on the toilet and took me by surprise, I had no idea what to expect, the midwives had passed me off onto the gp, the gp was trying to pass me off to casualty because they basically didnt have the time to talk to me to explain what to expect and the nurse who took my blood test (knowing that i was having a suspected miscarraige) actually wished me a merry christmas as i was walking out (was she seriously on the same planet as me right then?! I was loosing my baby the week before christmas and she’s telling me to have a good one?!! – so angry and fealt like i was being treated as a number rather than a human being!).

    I heard it drop down and shocked i quickly stood up and looked down – the thought of flushing my baby down the toilet or putting it in the bin just fealt so wrong. It was the loss of a human life, simply disposing of it like that fealt undignified and I had only found out that I was pregnant last week and was just getting excited and had told my nearest and dearest – and now, now this….my baby has died and I feel so uterly helpless and heartbroken and not ready to let go.

    With my other 3 children, I knew very early on what they were going to be and the same instinct was in play this time – Im so sure that it was a girl – I had already decided that I was going to call her Hope.

    I have wrapped her in a little white cloth and put her in a little box in a larger wooden box – Its so tiny I dont think it will cause a smell or anything – I kept my other childrens umbilical cords in the clips when they fell off and they were only a little smaller.

    Im sure that all sounds rather macaab but i dont know how else to deal with it. I dont want to bury her in the garden incase we move – i couldnt bare the thought of some stranger digging her up – and i cant put her in the bin or flush her down the toilet – and I cant put her in a cemetary because as far as the records office are concerned she never existed.
    I can honestly say that this is the most painful and difficult thing that I have ever experienced in my life, I thank god that I already have been fortunate enough to have 3 healthy children and my heart and thoughts are with those of you who have been through this, especially those who have experienced it more than once and those of you who were having your first pregnancy, my prayers are for you all tonight.xxx

  75. Just wanted to say, firstly I’m sorry for your loss. And secondly, thank u so much for sharing your story online and the pictures too. Although graphic, if I hadn’t have seen your pictures I wouldn’t have known what to expect. When I felt something pass in the loo, it was exactly the same as what u had and thanks to u I was able to stay calm
    And not panic as I’ve had to go through this at home, hospital wo t see me for another 5 days. NHS for you. :-(
    So thank u for helping me deal with such a difficult time in my life xxx

  76. Im so sorry you went through this. I have my own story too. My miscarriage turned ectopic http://anaussiemumsdiary.com/2012/10/miscarriageturnedectopic/

  77. You all disgust me!! I had a miscarriage a week ago- I knew it was happening, I saw it in the toilet and never in a million years would I think to pick it up and snap pictures! Some think this is the most devasting time of their lives and wondering if it is going to be a reoccurance! I for one cry and talk about it because this was my baby… The child I have longed for my whole life and now I’m terrified it may not happen! Ya’ll should be ashamed!

  78. Thank you so much for sharing your story I just had a miscarriage two days ago and it was really scary I was spotting two days before and had seen a doctor the day before he done a ultrasound and there was no heart beat he said may be it was still to small and that he would do another one a week later. since my cycle was not normal it was hard to figure how far along acording to my LMC i should have been 10 weeks and I knew the heart should be beating. i had a dream the month before that i had hemmorhaged, I was just walking the day of my miscarriage and started bleeding non stop I went to the emergency room and and went through what seemed like labor with pain that seemed like bad cramps then it all came out it felt like small water ballon the doctor said I’m so sorry I was really in shock he asked me if I wanted to see it and I did I wanted to keep it I felt amazed and sad i created this tiny human and now there it is gone it was emotional I could not understand was it the IPad I used, the Advils I took did I workout to much but looking at pictures of embryos it think it had stopped development at around 5-6 weeks there was never a heartbeat but it still feels like I lost my child. I’ve had two other miscarriages but nothing like this they were like heavy periods with lots of clots. It really was not emotional that way, but having gone through this last one really changed the way I feel and think when some else has gone through this it is very sad and heart breaking. So sorry if this happen to you I now understand.

  79. Thank you for this post. I am currently on bed rest in the process of a miscarriage. I felt very much like you did. I never felt like it was real (even though I really wanted it to be), and when I went to the doctor at 8 weeks and all he saw was the gestational sac, I just knew deep down something wasn’t right. Two weeks later to the day I found myself at the emergency room. My light spotting progressed to bleeding and the cramping was awful. The ultrasound showed that the babe was not progressing as it should have. It was showing around 6 weeks, even though I was 10. I was sent home. last night I passed something that liked like what us in your pictures, and I immediately felt empty. Shortly after that the bleeding slowed down and cramping was not as extreme. I don’t know how to feel at this point. I don’t know whether to be happy because I never heard the heartbeat or be sad because there was possibly never one. Either way I don’t know how to feel. Thank you for your story, it’s concurring to know I’m nit alone.

  80. My sympathies for your loss, and thank you for the information. I learned a lot about women today, questions I always had but was too reserved and respectful to ever ask.

  81. Thank you, Kathy, from the bottom of my heart for your deeply personal disclosure and especially for sharing so many details. I had a miscarriage five days ago and was scared and unsure of what to do–I wanted to ‘save it’ to have some memory of this life that wasn’t to be–but I didn’t know how. I happened upon your post literally minutes before I passed the products of conception and was able to ‘catch’ it with a tea strainer and (to Jessica who commented above 5/7/13) I also took photographs. I have had two additional pregnancy losses in the last 13 months: a 26-week still birth and a 14-week termination due to genetic/chromosomal abnormality. I have photos and memories of my previous losses as well as thousands of photos of my live 4-year old daughter–why should a miscarriage be any different in terms of wanting to photograph and remember the baby we never got to meet? Thank you again, Kathy. Without you and your story I believe l would have lost a very important part of me forever, down the toilet.

  82. Thank you SO much for sharing this. I am miscarrying right now and I am saving it to bury. I can’t help but examine everything, searching for my baby and wondering what all this stuff is. I was relieved to find your post. God bless you. Hugs

  83. i am sorry i didnt see this page before thanks for giving me the courage to share . i just had my second miscarriage never thought it would happen again . my first miscarriage i was 16 weeks i went into labour and delivered naturally the docs did some tests and realised that my cervix was short and told me next time i would have to get a cerclage .two years i got pregnant and they put in the cerclage and put me on bed rest my water broke at 32 weeks and my son was born he spent 4 days in nicu and came home healthy and fine .six years later i am pregnant again so i figured good once they put in the clip everything will be all right last Thursday i turned 20 weeks and my water broke i was devastated i cried all the way to the hospital they removed the stitch and labour started by midnight i delivered a lovely little boy the nurse held him up so i could see him i am sorry now i left his body at the hospital and that i did not take a pic of him i miss him sooo much i wont be trying again i cant put myself through this again

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