Ooo…. Scary….

Reality Rounds is hosting a Halloween-themed “Change of Shift” blog carnival, so I thought I’d post scare tactics used by some people (doctors, usually) to get women to go along with whatever it was they wanted to do. Granted, some of the time, women would do well to be scared — their test results are far from reassuring, their baby’s heartbeat is super-low, etc. — but, then, there are other times, when the person seems like he or she just wants to scare the woman. Here’s a better idea — just put on a scary mask and jump out at them and say, “Boo!”

I will be borrowing heavily from “My OB said WHAT?!?”, providing links for each quote I use — sometimes the comments following are about as good as the quote itself! [Not all of the quotes are from OBs, despite the title.] The remainder of the quotes are from various blogs I’ve read, etc. Please click over to see (as Paul Harvey would say) “the rest of the story!”

1. “Don’t put your hands above your head!! — It’ll make the baby have the cord around its neck!” — said to me, by a co-worker, when I was pregnant and waitressing — which, by the way, required me to, y’know, hold the big tray in my hand above my head.
2. “DON’T DO THAT!!! THE BABY WILL FALL OUT!!” — said to me by a female manager when I did the splits at 5 months pregnant, just to show I could (and to freak my coworkers out, I’ll admit).
3. “You’re too short” — said to scare a woman into accepting a C-section before labor began.
4. “Your uterus will explode” — said to scare a woman into getting fetal monitors. [Please note, that the monitors won't keep a uterine rupture from happening, although they might give an indication that a rupture has occurred.]
5. “Babies just don’t survive past 42 weeks” — said to scare a woman into accepting an induction instead of NSTs at 42 weeks.
6. “Only if you want to blow your butt-hole out!” — said to scare a woman out of wanting to try a squatting position to give birth. I suppose that this is why so many women end up on their backs in a squatting position, with people pushing her knees towards her ears — that’s so much better!!
7. “Just checking to see how HUGE your baby is!” — said to a VBAC woman, possibly to scare her into “choosing” a C-section.
8. “You are not going to dilate any more” — said to a woman at 8 cm to scare her into allowing her waters to be broken.
9. “Your baby could end up being retarded” — said to scare a woman into allowing a blood sugar test on her newborn.
10. “I could either do surgery now or later” — said to scare a woman into accepting a C-section, or need reconstructive surgery on her vagina from the birth.
11. “Because pushing is dangerous!” — said to scare a woman into accepting continuous electronic fetal monitoring during pushing. This despite the fact that intermittent auscultation is safe and acceptable.
12. “It makes all the blood run down to the vagina” — said to scare a woman into lying down to push, rather than being upright and squatting. Which reminds me of something my dad used to say: “You know that when you stand on your head, the blood all rushes into your head, right? Why the blood doesn’t rush into your feet when your standing? Because there’s something in your feet to keep that from happening!” — In other words, the blood rushes to your head because you’re skull is empty. Sorta like this nurse.
13. “Babies are just too slippery” — said to scare a woman into lying down in bed to push, rather than being vertical — the doctor said that babies aren’t as slippery if born in bed. What?!
14. “Your pelvis is completely flat!” — said to scare a VBAC mom during her second pregnancy.
15. “Your water has broken… and you don’t want to experience a dry birth” — said to scare a woman into a C-section — this despite the fact that “dry birth” is a myth, since your body continues to produce amniotic fluid even during labor. And if she needs or could benefit from some sort of lubrication or moisture, I’m sure that something like olive oil or K-Y Jelly or something could be used, as an alternative to a major surgery!
16. “You’re fine, the baby is fine, but you could DIE!” — said to scare a mom into a C-section. True, she could die with a vaginal birth, but the maternal mortality rate after a C-section is I think 5-7 times higher than with a vaginal birth. She could die from accidentally choking herself while putting on a necklace, but that’s not very likely, is it??
17. “You have small feet” — said to scare a mom into a C-section before labor started. You can read more about the feet-pelvis connection (or lack thereof) here.
18. “You can either tear or I can cut you” — said to scare a first-time mom into an episiotomy, because the practitioner falsely believed that no first-time mothers could retain an intact perineum.
19. “We will have to call CPS” — said to scare a mom who was struggling with breastfeeding in the first hour after birth, if the baby didn’t eat within the first six hours.
20. “We want her to be riding the long bus, don’t we?” — said to scare a mom into accepting a C-section when “stuck” at 8 cm.
21. “You can lie here and watch your baby die” — said to scare a mom into an emergency C-section… right before she gave birth vaginally.
22. “If the baby ain’t coming out, the baby ain’t coming out” — said to scare a mom into a C-section if she didn’t dilate past 4 cm within 4 hours. However, “active labor” doesn’t even start until the woman is already dilated to 4 cm, so it seems a bit premature to say that the baby just isn’t coming out, when she’s not really even in labor yet…
23. “Your uterus might fall out!” — said to scare a mom into an induction, since she was dilated to 4 cm, and labor hadn’t even started.
24. “… or you can stay pregnant forever” — said to a mom during an induction attempt, when her water was broken — without permission — and she was only 2 cm dilated.
25. “Don’t make me cut an episiotomy!” — said to a mom during pushing, I guess to scare her into pushing better… as if she was making it take longer on purpose?
26. “You gambled and you won this time” — said to a mom after she had a vaginal birth while being prepped for a C-section.
27. “Just wait ’til you’re in labor!” — said to scare a woman into an epidural prior to labor even starting.
28. “An uncontrolled delivery could result in future speech and language difficulties for the child” — a PhD lecturing to a class.
29. “A nuchal cord can cause long-term damage and even KILL a baby” — ibid.
30. “VBAC is potentially an extremely dangerous procedure for both mother and infant. Although 98% of women can potentially have a successful VBAC, in two percent of cases the result can be a rupture of the old scar. If this happens, then death of the baby is almost certain and death of the mother is probable. Even if the mother does not die, virtually 100% will lose their child bearing ability.” — letter of July 14, 2008, Office of the Executive Vice President; Ralph W. Hale, MD, FACOG; rhale@acog.org; American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists; 409 12th Street SW; Washington, DC 20024
31. “You have to have an IV or your baby could die!” — said to a woman who was terribly afraid of needles and was planning a completely unmedicated birth.
32. “The anesthesiologist is leaving — if you want an epidural, you’ll have to get it now” — said to a woman whose water broke before labor set in, and she ended up getting an epidural prior to having the first contraction — ibid.
33. “We’ll get a court order and force you to have a C-section” — told to a woman who was planning her 2nd VBAC at the same hospital.
34. “The number one cause of death during birth is aspiration” — said to a woman to scare her out of eating during labor.
35. “…the reality is that eating is the last thing most women are going to want to do since nausea and vomiting during labor is quite common” — William H. Barth, Jr, MD, of Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston and chair of ACOG’s Committee on Obstetric Practice, in ACOG’s press release about finally allowing women to drink modest amounts of beverages, but nothing solid like soup.
36. “Not unless she’s having a two-pound baby, she won’t [have a vaginal birth]!” — said to a woman while being stitched up after an unplanned and unwanted C-section [she went on to have a 7lb+ VBAC].
37. “Babies don’t come out that way!” — said to scare a woman out of pushing in a hands-and-knees position. If that is  true, I guess I’m still pregnant with both of my children, because I most certainly was in hands-and-knees position when they were born!
38. “Your ultrasound shows the baby to be 10 lb. 13 oz. and 23″ long” — said to scare a woman into having a C-section… for her 7.5 lb baby
39. “Your baby is about 8 lb” — said to scare a woman into changing her due date and consent to an induction… for her 6-lb baby, who ended up in the NICU for a week due to prematurity — ibid.
40. “You’re 6 days away from your due date and there’s still no sign of labor and the baby is big” — said to scare a woman into scheduling a C-section instead of a VBAC.
41. “If you don’t have a C-section at the scheduled time, I’m not going to be available for the entire week and you’ll get some random doctor from the hospital” — said to the same woman above, when she arrived for her scheduled C-section contracting and dilating, and changed her mind to attempt a C-section — ibid.
42. “The baby’s head is big and the baby will be at least 8 lbs. I’m sure it will be a very tough delivery” — said by a different doctor to the same mom to scare her into changing her mind again, and choosing a C-section — ibid.
43. “The longer you leave your baby in, the more likely it is to eat it’s own poop and die.” — said to scare a woman into an induction at 39 weeks.
44. “You don’t have enough room in your pelvis to give birth to a baby that big” — said to scare a woman into an “elective” C-section that she thinks is medically necessary [estimated fetal weight 8lb 14 oz; actual birthweight 7lb 9oz].
45. “Your vagina is too small” — said to scare a woman into a primary then repeat C-section; the doctor at the second C-section, who wouldn’t counsel her on having the choice of having a VBAC (since she was at 8cm dilation right before surgery began [after SROM, a week before her elective C-section]), said, “Oh excellent!  I can be out of here by half past one at the latest and still make it to my golf game!”
46. “The baby’s amniotic fluid is too low and you are overdue” — said to scare a mom into an induction, two days before the induction, the only prenatal visit the husband missed, with amniotic fluid levels at an 8 (normal is 5-25) at 40 weeks 5 days.
47. “Why would you want to risk a VBAC only to have a ruptured uterus and a dead baby?” — said to scare a mom into an “elective” repeat C-section.
48. “VBACs are much more dangerous to you and your baby.  A repeat cesarean is the safer route” — ditto above.
49. “You’re not really an ideal VBAC candidate since your cesarean wasn’t for fetal distress or breech presentation” — ditto above.
50. “Look, I’m the one who has earned the medical degree and I am telling you that you cannot attempt a VBAC.  Your only choice is a repeat cesarean.  Period.”

And what could be more a propos than this video made by Sheridan at Enjoy Birth: 50 ways to scare a mother!

http://myobsaidwhat.com/2009/10/15/babies-just-dont-survive-past-42-weeks/