Continuing in Dr. Rixa Freeze’s Born Free doctoral dissertation, starting on pg 118 of the pdf (pg. 104 of the dissertation), Rixa begins a discussion on “Birth-rape,” which is of course, highly troubling. Some women will choose to use the word “trauma” instead of “rape,” but the idea is definitely conveyed — outsiders doing things to a woman (specifically her genitals) against her wishes, and sometimes even against her explicit objections. The discussion goes on for several pages, and I think everyone involved in birth needs to read this, so that they can be more attuned to the concept — that some women feel traumatized by past births, or can become traumatized by future ones; that sometimes doctors and nurses can cause or contribute to those feelings; and that these things are real. Several women that were interviewed for this paper described previous birth experiences as either traumatic or “rape” — and this wasn’t restricted to hospital births attended by male doctors, but included births attended by female doctors and midwives in the hospital, as well as home births attended by a midwife. These experiences were so bad for these women, that the only way they could feel safe in birth was to go unassisted, since they could no longer trust medical personnel not to abuse their power as “professionals” or their office of trust.
One midwife who later came to believe that she had participated in “birth rape” said:
As I learned to be a midwife, I did horrible things to women in the name of education. I have held women’s legs open (“to get the baby out”). I have pulled placentas out (“to learn how to get one out that needs help or if the mom is bleeding”)….I have done vaginal exams on women who were screaming NO! I have coerced women to allow me into their vaginas for exams….I have manually dilated a cervix on a woman having a waterbirth (and I wasn’t wearing gloves) and got her cervical flesh under my fingernails.
As a doula and student, I stood by and watched as women screamed to be left alone. I watched midwives with 3 inch fingernails shove cervices from 3 to 10 [centimeters] in a few minutes. I watched as women had Cytotec inserted into their vaginas secretly….I have seen and heard women be screamed at to shut up, grow up, that she asked for it by opening her legs 9 months ago, that she gets what she deserves. I have seen a woman slapped by a midwife.
Rixa goes on to say, “Because such practices have become routine, few maternity care givers consider them abusive or inherently inappropriate.”
This is unfortunately all too true. You don’t have to look very far to find stories of women who were yelled at, sneered at, made to feel bad somehow (even stupid), forced to lie in bed, physically moved from a comfortable position into an uncomfortable one simply for doctor convenience, given unnecessary vaginal exams, given rough vaginal exams, cut unnecessarily, sutured unnecessarily, not given anesthesia for the suturing, etc. And this can happen even with “nice” midwives and “nice” nurses and “nice” doctors, which is the most troubling fact.
And this is why some women leave medical care and go unassisted — because they don’t like the way they were treated. After all, if you got raped when you went to a bar, would you go back to that bar again? I wouldn’t. And maybe not just that bar, but any bar, because that’s (obviously) where the rapists hang out, since one was hanging out there and raped you.
Average care in the early part of this century is better than average care in the 50s — there is more patient autonomy (no mandatory general anesthesia, major episiotomies, forceps births, etc.); but just because it’s better than it was doesn’t mean it’s as good as it can ever be, nor as good as it should be. Just as hospitals looked closely at their policies in the 70s with the advent of the “natural birth” movement and reemergence of midwifery, in order to keep women satisfied with giving birth there (not requiring general anesthesia any more, allowing husbands to be there when giving birth, making hospital rooms more “homey”), even so hospitals ought to look at their policies of today and address areas of discontent that many women have — including the area of loss of autonomy which the woman may process like rape.
Filed under: birth story, labor and birth | Tagged: abuse, baby, birth, birth rape, birth trauma, born free, bornfree, free-birth, freebirth, home birth, hospital birth, midwife, midwifery, obstetrician, obstetrics, pregnancy, pregnant
This post affects me on many levels – it makes me sad, makes me angry, gives me chills, and then makes me want to stress more and more to women that they MUST take control of their own care.
I wondered what scarred me so badly about birth #1, why those hours still give me nightmares, why I don’t feel the same about it as I do the others. I now know I was a victim of “birth rape” in my first labor (told I would demand drugs, told I had no idea what I was doing, dozens of exams by people I didn’t even recognize, forced to lay in bed, forced into stirrups, cut right after I said to get the scissors away from me, etc.), and for the next three I learned the word NO. I came into the situation (unfortunately three more hospital births) letting everyone know *I* was in charge, I knew what I wanted and what I was doing, and was able to have three more non-invasive, beautiful pain-free natural childbirths. The only thing I would do differently is stay home. If God blesses me with #5, I won’t be making the drive to the hospital – it’s a waste of gas.
Thank you for a great blog.
I feel so blessed. I had my first child 8 months ago with a CNM at a birth center, and it was a wonderful experience. The midwife followed my birth plan and never did anything without first telling me or without my approval. I have since moved and plan on future children, but do not have the same options due to the size of the community I moved to. I am concerend that my future births will not go as great, just due to the stories I have heard from mothers around this area. I know many that feel that their births were traumatic.
One thing that I believe made my birth so wonderful was that I educated myself on the birth process so that I knew what to ask for and what to say no to. I am now giving information to any pregnant woman that will listen, in hopes that their birth can be just as wonderful as mine was.
If anyone is in the Dallas/Fort Worth area and needs the name of my wonderful CNM there, please contact me and I would gladly give it to you.
JK, D.C.
I would love to know who your cnm was please???
Forty years ago I gave birth. It was the worst experience of my life: (I have had other worst
experiences: cancer twice, nearly going blind, etc.) but giving birth was the worst. Never had another child. Did not want one, but had I wanted one I would rather die than give birth. Even now, seeing a pregnant woman makes me ill. It took 3 months for my body to recover.
I am not yet pregnant (plan on beginning to try within a few months)..but, I believe that I was “raped” during my first gyno exam, and the fears from that are definitely affecting my desire to get pregnant. During my first exam, I was in a LOT of pain..the gyno kept telling me “It doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t hurt” and kept going..I was literally screaming in pain. The second exam (yes, I went back to the same one, dumb me!), I told her at the beginning the last one had hurt and that I was scared for it to happen again. She said it usually didn’t hurt the second time. It did. As she was down there, and the pain was unbearable, I asked her 3 times to “stop” and “take it out” but was ignored..she kept talking to the nurse in the room about how “it doesn’t even hurt” and ignored me.
This year, for my third exam, I went to a new dr’s office..I told her about my other experiences, and the reason I had switched..she said that sometimes it does just hurt, so it’s not right to tell someone it won’t..and said she would go slowly and tell me what she was doing every step of the way. It was definitely uncomfortable while she was doing the exam, but it really didn’t hurt–I couldn’t believe it when she told me she was finished! I have no idea what the first dr did wrong/different, but I am so glad that I switched and hope that anyone else who is anyway uncomfortable with their dr will also keep looking until they find one who can give them what they need!